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[angramaintsu]

Characters: Dark Rin & YOU!
Setting: Various floors, dormitories. Willing to have her be anywhere so long as there's something "pretty" to take a photo of
Time: Throughout the day
Format: Quick to start, will match
Summary: Rin believes in equivalent exchange and works on repaying a kindness done to her. Later on she finds out what everyone else has found out via terminals because magi and computers GROSS and broods a little
Warnings: Surprisingly a nice post for her, will edit them in if they come up

    ►►► VARIOUS;
[ When Rin wakes up the morning of the first, she's left a gift as per her request. Surprised as she is to see it, she wastes no time in getting the film inside of the camera and visiting various floors. Rin starts at the top of the tower in her search to take pictures for her uncle, taking caution to travel to floors that he might not be able to due to his condition. The more dangerous the floor? The more likely one is to find Rin there. She shows no fear as she moves through with relative ease and should she happen upon a monster? Well, it's rare these days that a monster can stand up to her and should she meet her match, it takes seconds for her to be free of the danger due to the silent guardian that can be called to her side near instantaneously. Not that she's going to bother him when she's having such a great day admittedly. ]

    ►►► DORMITORIES;
[ Sometime in the evening, after she's spoken with Saber to find out what this place truly is and what she is herself, Rin can be found lurking in the hallway as though she's waiting for monsters to come for her. Not that they crawled among the dormitory corridors often, but if they were to come looking for her... well, she might greet them happily. ]

If it isn't mine, then why did they stay within me? [ She mutters out loud to herself bitterly. ] Why is it still there too?

Comments

[angramaintsu]

[ Lowering her hand back to her side, she stares at something in the distance beyond him. A something he can't see because it's nothing. ]

This body.

[ Her fingers flex. ] This body isn't mine, so why do I have it?

[swordedpast]

...ah.

[ A faint, bitterly rueful smile ghosts across his face. ]

Well, it was pointless to hope you wouldn't find out about that. I know your body troubles you--

[ He only knows a little. He can sense the shadowy corruption pouring off her, and he knows that whatever it is, it's getting worse. He knows about some of the things done to her sexually, though he can't think too much about that or it upsets him too much. There's more he doesn't know, and he's aware of that too. ]

I was going to get you a new one and have it be a surprise present, but now that won't work.

[angramaintsu]

A present for me?

[ She speaks almost as though she's forgotten what it's like to have such a thing. The past month proved otherwise when her uncle and a couple of others thought of her for a day that was meant for men. ]

I was thinking... [ It's Archer, so she can be a bit honest with him. ] That if I were to die over and over again... maybe they can run out and they'd have no choice but to place my soul in another body. Isn't that a great idea, Archer?

[swordedpast]

Yeah. It'll probably take me a while, since I have no idea how to do it. But I'll find out--

[ He stops as she starts to speak again, and he listens. Something about her tone suggests she might even be opening up. So of course he has to listen.

He tries, anyway. He tries, but even as she's asking him that last hopeful question, his hands are clenching tightly around the hilts of his swords. ]

I won't allow you to carry out that plan, Rin. I'll have to take every blow that's meant for you and die instead. Will you allow that?

[ And he hates himself for reacting like that. If Rin wants to subject herself to such pain to be free of that body, shouldn't he let her? But he can't bear the thought. ]

[angramaintsu]

You wouldn't have a choice in the matter.

[ Rather curt and to the point despite her earlier confusion. ] I could just use up a Command Mantra and have you do something else instead. How do you feel about puzzles, Archer? Maybe you can play that thing that all the boys rage over every day.

[ It seems so easy for her to speak about killing herself and forcing Archer to play games while she does it. ]

[swordedpast]

You could. If you're as powerful as the Rin Tohsaka I knew, it might even work, no matter how hard I resisted.

[ He speaks listlessly, his eyes lowering. ]

Well, there is a puzzle I'm interested in, Master.

It's this one...

[ He takes a breath. His insides feel about to seize up. ]

I'm going to puzzle out how to save you.

[ And he looks up to meet her gaze. ]

It's all right. I only have to save your body, you know. Because this miserable tower is taking care of your soul, and more importantly, your heart is still okay in there...I won't say it's perfect. It's probably kind of messed up. But it's still good.

[ The smile he gives her is a little ragged, a lot bitter, but somewhere in it there's sincerity. ]

This is the only wish left to me. Everything else got broken.

[angramaintsu]

My heart?

[ He's said so much that it's difficult for her to keep up. Bringing a hand to hold it over her beating heart, she feels it pick up by time he's finished that final statement. ]

Is it really all broken, Archer? I, I don't like that.

[ Is that selfish of her to say? For once she's worried about being that way as she bites her lip shortly after in an attempt to save face. ]

[swordedpast]

[ He can't be tough and insolent when she bites her lip like that. He has to keep smiling at her, even if the expression is kind of frayed. Even if there's desperation beneath it. ]

I don't think your heart is really broken. It's probably just really worn down and beaten up. I think it's probably tired. That's natural, isn't it? You've had a rough life and it's had to work hard to stay intact at all. So, this is a deal I'm offering you, Rin.

This is what I've decided...

You should let me take care of that messed-up body, so that you don't have to worry about your heart getting any more beaten up. It won't be all the time. Just until I can get you a new body.

[angramaintsu]

It does feel tired.

[ Maybe it's something else that's tired instead of her heart. Rin's not good at telling these things anymore as her fingers dig into the clothes she wore. ]

I still think my method may be better. If I die multiple times, they'll eventually give me what I want. Why waste resources otherwise?

[ She doesn't even consider them refusing to put her into a body altogether. ]

[swordedpast]

You don't know that. They might simply force you to live in a body that's even more broken than the one you have now. So don't make rash decisions like deciding to kill yourself over and over again.

[ Oops, he just got this vague guilty twinge about his hypocrisy. ]

[angramaintsu]

Is there any kind of body like that here?

[ She asks without realizing just how broken he is. ]

[swordedpast]

...I don't know.

[ His body isn't that messed up, he's sure. It's his heart and mind and soul that are the problem. So he'd give his body to Rin in a heartbeat if he could, even if she deserves one that isn't swords, really. ]

But they could probably make one. They're really terrible.

[angramaintsu]

Not as bad as me.

[ It slips out quicker than she intends. Oops. ]

[swordedpast]

No.

[ There's absolute certainty in his voice. ]

You aren't the Rin I first knew, but haven't I told you? Your heart is still good. I wouldn't serve a Master who was nothing but a monster...do you take me for that kind of Servant?

[angramaintsu]

Maybe you just haven't seen it for yourself yet!

[ Her anger comes and goes as quick as lightning as she recoils from her own burst. ]

Ugh..

[swordedpast]

You mean, maybe I haven't seen you sitting in the dark covered by insects? Maybe I haven't seen you being so frightening even the monsters shy away from you? You should think again, Master. None of that matters to me...well, it does. It means I have to try harder for you.

[ He speaks awkwardly, stumbling a little over his words. He's long since forgotten how to be the savior she needs, and he despises himself for it. But he has to keep trying, even if it only winds up hurting both of them.

In the end, he doesn't really know how to give up, even if he thinks he does now. ]

[angramaintsu]

[ Of course he's seen her. How long has he been watching over her and she's failed to notice? ]

Archer. [ Calmly saying his name. ] Why do you have to try?

[swordedpast]

[ He looks at her helplessly. ]

Why...?

[ Why does she have to ask that? It opens up a pit underneath him. A pit where everything, everything, everything else he ever tried to save and protect is gone. Where the only thing he ever truly wanted--an end to all this--has been denied to him.

He finds himself lifting a hand. Here it might be okay for him to touch her, to communicate his feelings. She's not pure--she's messed-up and broken like him, only in body instead of soul. So...

His fingers still only brush her cheek before he has to drop them, an embarrassed, apologetic look on his face. ]

Because if I stop trying, you won't be saved.

[angramaintsu]

That's because people like me aren't supposed to be saved.

[ His touch was fleeting and leaves her wanting more. Fortunately for him, she doesn't say that out loud. Instead she just looks at him while pining for his presence to draw near. ]

What do you think will happen if I get a new body? That it'll erase everything I've done?

[swordedpast]

...I don't know if that's true.

[ What if she really has done terrible things? Hurt others? It's his duty to fight her, then. It's in his nature to defeat her.

He doesn't know how much of that nature he left behind with the world he was bound to protect. He doesn't know how much is left in him of the deeper nature that just needs to save her, no matter what. ]

I don't know much about what you've done, to be honest. I don't think I need to know.

But I'd like for you to be happy, Rin. That's what'd start to happen if you get a new body. Right?

[angramaintsu]

I, I think so.

[ Rin sounds uncertain of it. ] If I get a new body, then people won't look at me strangely. Oh, if I can even have the dark hair then maybe it wouldn't be so troublesome when people call me by that name.

[ Tohsaka, she means. ]

[swordedpast]

You could always order me to hurt people who look at you strangely, Master.

[ ...he shouldn't have offered that. She might well do it, and where would he be then? But when she looks like that, he can't help it.

Even if she's not the Rin he knew, he still doesn't want to see her in pain. ]

But I think it'd be better if you didn't need to hurt anyone anymore. Not even yourself.

[angramaintsu]

Huh, do you think that would be better?

[ She's like a little girl who's been told an unbelievable bit of news with how wide her eyes grow. ]

Can that really happen, Archer?

[swordedpast]

[ He opens his mouth to promise her that it can. He knows that he can't make that promise. He knows that he's done making promises it's impossible to keep. But for her, he wants to start doing it again. Even here. Even now.

But he catches himself on the first word. ]

...the truth is I don't know.

But if there is a way, I am the one who will find it, because I am your Servant, and it's unthinkable that you'd have a Servant who can't give you what you need.

[angramaintsu]

I wouldn't have chosen you if you were incapable of doing that, Archer.

[ She tries to take credit for their pact as usual. ] I'm good at doing things that are for the best for me, you know.