we've come back here to rebuild

[notsogrimreaper]

Characters: Ryoji Mochizuki and you!
Setting: Dorm 4-12 and Floor 96. Various floors for B.
Format: Any, I'll match you!
Summary: Ryoji's a bit broken down after recent events, and it seems that dealing with it alone isn't working, as much as he wishes it was.
Warnings: What you'd expect from a panicky, emotional teenager. Some blood and violence, and maybe some suicidal thoughts.

A: Dorm 4-12

[Once the modifications had been undone, Ryoji had ended up trudging back to his room. For a moment, it almost seemed as if he was still droned, from his blank expression and the slow, deliberate movements. Honestly, though, he had just shut himself down, deciding that feeling numb was better than feeling anything else.

Occasionally, bursts of emotion still flooded over the wall he'd hastily set up. After all, he remembered everything, and that included every person he had injured or murdered. It would have been easier on him if he had ended their lives quickly and painlessly, but for some reason, in that state, he was completely different from how he usually was, believing that suffering should be prolonged rather than cut short.

It was during one of these bouts of depression that he decids to check his trunk. As childish as it was to rely on that silly Jack Frost toy for comfort, it was soothing to hug that toy, to hold something, if only to reassure himself that he did still exist. He died and he still existed, as much as he didn't want to. Everyone else still existed too, right?

When he opens the chest, however, his eyes are drawn not to the cheerful plush Persona, but to something that hadn't been there before. They look like some red bits of stone. Bewildered, Ryoji reaches over to grab a piece, turning it over in his hands... until he spots that outline chiseled onto the rock.

He stares, and Minato's unseeing eye stares back at him, though it is splattered with blood that has dripped onto the toy he was looking for.
Ryoji tries to muffle his sobs in his pillow instead.]

B: Various monster floors

[It seemed like a lot of people relied on fighting the creatures around the Tower to blow off steam. Ryoji did it occasionally too, if only because knowing that he was getting rid of something that could kill the residents helped make him feel that maybe he did have a purpose here. Maybe he could help sometimes.

Still, every time he stabs a monster, it's Diarmuid's face that is twisted in pain instead of a clearly inhuman face. It is Cecil's scream that he hears instead of a demonic screech. It isn't long before Ryoji has to retreat.]
C: Floor 96

[He knows it's a bad idea for him to come here, but he's careful. He doesn't stay too long. All he does is stay until the pain goes away. This time, though, even when the memories start to dissipate, he knows. He knows he should be sad, and guilty, and hopeless, but he just doesn't know why.

He knows he should leave, before he does permanent damage to himself, but he can stay for a few more minutes, right? Just a few more minutes, until he forgets the emotions along with the reasons behind them.]

Comments

A: Dorm 4-12

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid's room isn't that far from Ryoji's and so it's not too surprising that his servant enhanced hearing picks up on the sound of crying when he steps into the hallway. It doesn't take long for him to track the sound to room 4-12, but once at the door he pauses, worried that his presence might just make things worse for Ryoji. Is the boy ready to talk to him or does he need more time to sort through what had happened?

After several moments, Diarmuid does finally knock on the door, opening it slightly so that he can lean into the room.]

Ryoji, may I come in?

Re: A: Dorm 4-12

[notsogrimreaper]

[For a moment, the crying abruptly stops. Ryoji pushes his face as far into the pillow as it'll go, trying to muffle all the sounds he makes as he waits. He repeats one desperate sentence in his head as he practically suffocates himself. Just go away, just go away, just go away...

But for whatever reason, he can't bring himself to say those three words. He doesn't answer though. What could he even say to a man who called him 'son' just before Ryoji made his heart stop?]

Re: A: Dorm 4-12

[oathshackledbird]

Do you want me to go? If you do, just say so. We...can talk some other time.

[Diarmuid steps fully into the room, but he doesn't approach the bed. Instead, he closes the door behind him and stays standing there. He doesn't want to pressure Ryoji, but at the same time he is fighting the urge to just go to him and pull the boy into his arms, telling him over and over that everything is okay until he believes it.

Until they both believe it.]

But hiding from the emotions won't do either of us any good. I don't blame you. Honestly, I really just want to give you a hug right now. I hate seeing you in so much pain...

B

[slightlyoblivious]

[It's not much like Yukiko to really blow off steam, but she's made up her mind: she's going to get stronger. So she's been up on the monster floors every so often, fans out. It feels a little strange, doing this on her own, when she's so used to having everyone else there, but she knows it's part of it.

She's been at it for a bit, when she sees someone else retreating. They don't look hurt, but sometimes it's not obvious, and if she can do something about it, she wants to.

It's not till she gets a little closer that she recognizes him from that past week, but she still doesn't flinch back. It wasn't his fault, and she wanted to check on everyone anyway.]

Are you okay? You look kind of shaken up. If you're hurt, I have healing magic...

[notsogrimreaper]

[He glances back instinctively, even though he doesn't really want to talk to anyone. He is shaking, isn't he? The sword in his hand trembles, and even though he knows it's not that training sword, it still looks so much like it... He can't imagine what it's going to be like to go train again. Not that he was really planning to go anymore...

He was going to respond that he wasn't hurt, but when she gets close enough, and he focuses on her eyes, he remembers the pained look they had in them the last time he saw them, and how much suffering he had added to that, and he's so so sorry...

He wants to run, but he's frozen in place, just staring straight into her eyes and trying not to scream.]

[slightlyoblivious]

[As soon as she notices that he's shaking, she takes a second to fold her fans and tuck them into an impromptu pouch she's made and has hanging at her waist. She doesn't want to be seen as a threat.]

...hey...it's all right. I'm not going to hurt you, okay? I promise.

[Yukiko doesn't move any closer than she is, and she meets that stare with a concerned look.]

If you're scared of what I might do because of what happened last week, you don't have to be. I'm not angry, and I'm not upset. I know that it wasn't your fault.

B

[tohko_amano]

[Usually, Tohko tried her best to avoid the monsters..but, recently, she had become inspired to improve herself, in an odd way. Enoch had told her that her ring could have defeated him..but what about her daggers? While she trained daily with Saber, Tohko wanted to better herself, just a little, since it seemed that the fighting would only get worse from here on out.

However, when she saw Ryoji attacking a few monsters, she couldn't help but run to him, worried. She had remembered how he had been the last time she had spotted him.]

Ryoji! It's great to see you again! How are you holding up? Are you okay?!

[notsogrimreaper]

[Imagining his friends around while he was fighting was hard enough. Actually seeing Tohko was devastating. Yes, they had both been modified onto the same side by the recent event, but he'd still killed people that he knows were close to her.

He stares at her, eyes wide like some terrified animal, before he tugs the blade out of his latest kill (or at least, it should be dead by now, so Ryoji shouldn't have to hear that familiar scream much longer) and bolts for the stairs.

He's sorry, Tohko. He knows he can't run away from his problems but that doesn't mean he's not going to try.]

[tohko_amano]

[He may have killed them, but Tohko wasn't aware of it..and if she had been, she would have blamed the brainwashing, not him. However, as Ryoji ran away, Tohko bit her lip and chased after him, putting away her daggers.]

Ryoji! Come back! I'm not going to hurt you! I just want to see that you're alright! Please, don't run away..

C

[boxingemperor]

[Akihiko had never spent much time on the ninety-sixth floor. There was something a little unsettling about it, despite how simple it was. But today, he finds Ryoji there, looking unharmed but down in the dumps.

It would be polite to leave him be, as he doesn't look like he wants to socialize. But if something happened to him, it wouldn't just be guilt to deal with. This is a situation where he can help, and he will.

So, he approaches courteously.]

Mochizuki, you okay?

[notsogrimreaper]

[Courtesy doesn't matter to Ryoji right now. He looks at Akihiko and all he can see is a polite stranger... but the stranger is one that still makes him upset for whatever reason.

He shifts his chair away, shaking his head.]

I... I don't know anymore. I think I did something wrong, but I can't remember what.

[Only a matter of time before he forgets the feeling too, right?]

C

[culbutiri]

[Nesir still wasn't doing well but for the most part she was trying to ignore it. Because they were watching, and she didn't want to show weakness, not after what they had done.

As she passed by floor ninety six she saw the figure there, Ryoji. She had been doing a good job of keeping an eye on him until she had been brainwashed, she should get back to that. A job, something she could do.

So she marched onto the floor and grabbed his arm, attempting to pull him back to the staircase] Who did be giving you permission to be being a coward Ryoji?

[notsogrimreaper]

[Ryoji blinks, still in a daze. He's confused as to who this girl is, and why she's talking to him. Is he really being a coward? He knows he feels scared, but... he can't remember why he feels this way.

Somehow, though, not knowing what was scary makes everything terrifying, and Ryoji tries to tug his arm out of Nesir's grip, panicking.]

D-Don't! Leave me alone!

C

[heavenscorpse]

[Quietly, V/V approaches him on the white floor, and takes his arm.]

I don't know what you're trying to forget, but there are things I want you to remember. Is that okay?

[notsogrimreaper]

[All V/V gets in response is a very confused stare and a small, childish whimper. He doesn't remember her at all, or at least, he shouldn't, but looking at her reminds him of something very sad and painful. He's not going along with her, but he might not fight if she tries to pull him along, as long as she's gentle.]

B

[awaken]

[Having only been here for a week, Makoto is still prone to getting lost in her attempts to familiarize herself with the tower. It's during one of these excursions that she finds herself being attacked, and forced to use her Personas to keep the monsters at bay.

She's starting to get exhausted, however, and just when she feels like she's about to give out, she notices a familiar figure moving past. Bewildered, she's nearly cleaved in two by a monster who takes advantage of her shock; as she dodges, taking a nasty swipe to her arm, she calls out to the figure that's moving further away.]

Ryoji-kun!

[notsogrimreaper]

[Ryoji jumps slightly and almost thinks about running away. After everything that happened, he couldn't even imagine facing anyone that was a friend of his. Once he turns around, though, he notices that whoever this girl is, she's not anyone he knows.

He's curious as to how she knows his name, but he doesn't really have time to ask. She's almost surrounded by those creatures, and Ryoji can't just abandon her. He breathes slowly, closing his eyes, and a moment later Thanatos is rushing into the fray, sword at the ready.]

B, Floor 75

[evokingfool]

[If Minato have to say it, this floor would be his...well, he can't really put it as "favourite", but he preferred training on this floor. A floor with a tower full of monsters?

The atmosphere and enemies might be different, the infested tower doesn't have a different interior design the higher he goes up, but...it's almost like fighting in Tartarus again.

Suzaku was in front of him, the legendary phoenix burning the monsters with its fire spells. Minato would rush in and finished off any monsters that manage to survive with his blade. And then he moves on.]

...Ryoji-kun?

[Suzaku slowed down and stay behind Minato, following its Persona user's desire to approach Ryoji first.]

[notsogrimreaper]

[Ryoji understands that familiarity. As much as it scares him that he feels comfortable here, he can't deny that it's true that he's at home in that monstrous tower.

Or he is most of the time. This time he was in a hurry to leave. The illusions of his dead friends coupled with this floor's reminder to his true nature was just too much for Ryoji.

For a moment, he swears that Minato is just another illusion, but when he gets close, he knows he's really there. His steps falter, and he slows to stand awkwardly in front of his friend, feeling slightly ashamed, as if Minato already knows Ryoji's feelings before he even attempts to lie and fake a grin.]

Minato-kun. H-Hello.

Some floor

[carrythesin]

[With the residence back to their right minds, Kirika decided to explore once again. People has told her the best way to release stress was to spar. Honestly, it didn't felt enough. Even though she wasn't affected by it, she played a roll as well. There was no forgiveness for the admins. Not what they've done.

Kirika walked down one hall following the scream of a monster. That scream she was familiar with. Kirika peered from the corner and lurked.

...It was that guy again.]

[notsogrimreaper]

[Ryoji almost rushes past Kirika without even noticing her, clearly desperate to get out, but he does manage to catch a glimpse of her, which gets his paces to slow.

He remembers her well. He remembers how he acted towards her, how that smell off of her made him want to torture her. He hopes she doesn't think he's always like that, though... it'd probably be better if she did. Then he could keep his distance.]

Hello... Noir, right?

C

[warriorscribe]

*Enoch didn't spend much time on this floor, not enough to realize what it did. It was so blinding. He remembered the primary color in Heaven as white, but clearly it couldn't have been anything like this.

So when he sees someone sitting there, looking in some state of misery, he can't help but worry.*

Are you all right...?

[notsogrimreaper]

[Ryoji looks up at the man, but sighs and shakes his head.]

I... don't think so. For some reason, I feel so guilty, but I can't remember why.

Do I know you?

B

[keybearer]

[Riku tends to treat monster slaying as a therapeutic experience. It's a great way to blow off steam. Even greater when he's got his Ryu Dragon to watch his back. However, when Ryoji makes his retreat, Riku slides to a stop, eyebrow raised.]

Hey, what's the big rush about?

[His Dream Eater trills and cocks its head to the side. Hello, stranger!]

[notsogrimreaper]

[Sorry, Dream Eater. As cute as you are, Ryoji is not yet in the mood for conversation. He slows down a bit, but doesn't actually stop.]

It's nothing. The monsters are just stronger than I thought.

[That would excuse his panicked look and hasty retreat, and Ryoji hopes that Riku will just take that to be the truth. He can't even look at the other boy right now, remembering how he acted towards him with the modifications.]