towerofanimus | [open] // do what we must because we can

Entry tags:

[open] // do what we must because we can

Characters: Waver and open
Setting: Floor 27, cafeteria, dorm floors
Format: Either
Summary: Tea, science, and sleep are Waver's priorities. In that order.
Warnings: None yet.

[floor 27]

[Waver had spent the majority of his time in the laboratory; being the leader of the group researching the clear collar fluid, he might have felt obligated even if it didn't fascinate him. Luckily (for some value of the word), he was a researcher that often became utterly absorbed in his work to the point of forgetting everything else. 'Minor' things like sleeping and eating, for example.]

[Though he hid it the best he could, if the ponytail-wearing magus looked exhausted that was likely no one's imagination. Today he was looking over his own hastily-written notes and narrowing his eyes at the container of fluid itself as though it had perhaps insulted his mother, thin cloud of cigarette smoke hanging in the air in front of him.]

[cafeteria]

[It was a remarkably simple thing, tea. Last time it was available, Waver had taken quite a bit of it to store in his trunk (along with a whole lot of alcohol.)]

[Then, glamour failure. If asked for one petty thing Waver would never forgive the administrators for, he would always answer with that.]

[Needless to say, he'd finally dragged himself away from his work long enough to enjoy the shift in provisions. Today in the cafeteria one could find a magus in a black and green suit sitting by himself, looking over near-incomprehensible notes with a cup of tea in his hand.]

[And if one happens upon him in the evening, it's likely he's minding his own business and leaving with a bottle of wine or two, liquid mercury maid trailing a step behind him.]

[dorm floors]

[Only at some ungodly hour did Waver finally give up for the night and leave the laboratory, Volumen Hydragyrum behind him carrying two bottles of wine. If he was willing to stop at all, it was likely he'd reached his physical limit or damn near to it. Sure enough, it had been several days since he slept a full night--or slept, period. As a result Waver was pale and walking just a little unsteadily, but at least he didn't seem ready to drop dead.]

[Drop into a coma when he got to his room, sure. But not drop dead.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't want-...no, I shouldn't say I don't want to be your Master. That's not true; I won't stand for anyone else but me contracted to you. [Was that a small note of jealousy?]

But I can still say you have terrible taste, being satisfied with someone like me. [Waver seemed to have lost any argumentative edge, sounding no more than mildly irritated instead.]

[The words make Diarmuid smile and he leans down to place a light kiss on the top of Waver's head before resting his head against his friend's.]

I wouldn't say that's a bad thing, especially considering I don't know that I could handle you being contracted to someone else.

[Another Waver...maybe, though it would still be hard. Especially since so many of them are contracted to Rider on their worlds... But this one, this one is his.]

Waver, think about some of the things my people and my culture are known for. Terrible taste happens to be one of those things and I am quite happy with what my terrible taste has gotten me this time.

Hmph...as though we're known for much better. I must have awful taste, if I'm content to be here drinking substandard wine. That, or just desperate.

Well, I like to think the company helps make the bad wine a little more tolerable at least. Perhaps that is why you are so content and not the wine?

Good company often does help with things like that, doesn't it?

I always have thought so.

[Diarmuid's hand unconsciously returns to stroking Waver's hair.]

And I know I could not ask for better company than I have at the present, so the wine tastes pretty wonderful to me.

...you flatterer. [Waver laughed mostly to himself, leaning into Diarmuid's hand so slightly as to nearly be an imperceptible shift in position.]

[Diarmuid smiles at the laughter. Even if it is soft, it is much better than Waver being angry at himself.]

Flattery would indicate a lack of sincerity on my part and I assure you, I am quite sincere about this.

Then we're back to the matter of you having awful taste.

Hmm...or you could just accept that maybe you aren't as bad as you think you are. What about that?

I'll do that the same day that you do, my dearest knight.

Blackmail is it?

[Diarmuid laughs and gives Waver a squeeze.]

I see how you are, but you might want to rethink that. I am actually trying pretty hard to see myself in a better light. It might be a slow process, but there is process being made. Are you going to hold up your end of the deal and start feeling better about yourself soon?

I'm not blackmailing anybody. I'm just being honest--if you can change like that, maybe I can too.

The blackmailing thing was a joke, Mo Stór. However, if you really promise that you will work harder to believe in yourself, then that is all the encouragement I need to work harder myself.

[Mainly because he's doing it for someone else instead of himself. Oops...he will fix that someday. One thing at a time.]

I'll do the best that I can if you will. Fair?

Doing your best is all I ever ask of a person, so that is a deal I will readily accept.

[Diarmuid shifts his hold on Waver so that he can reach down for his bottle. He takes a drink out of it before frowning.]

It would be nice if this stuff was getting me even a little tipsy. I wouldn't mind being drunk tonight. It might numb the pain of my daughter being gone and the worry of my son being missing a little...

What? Who disappeared this time? [Waver's arms slipped around Diarmuid's waist almost protectively, concerned.]

Mami Tomoe. I don't know if you ever got to meet her. She was one of the first people I met when I arrived and she was like a daughter to me.

[Diarmuid smiles sadly, tilting his head down so he can bury his head in Waver's hair.]

Mami was one of the strongest most caring people I ever met. This place gave her a chance to live again. She's like me, Waver. Death is the only thing waiting for her and it's not right. It's not! She still has so much to give...

[He pauses a moment to steady himself.]

She was teaching me how to cook. Her specialty was sweets. She left me a cookie recipe...

And Ryoji has been missing for several weeks. His stuff is still here, but he... All I can think is he has been sent back to his home and if he doesn't come back...

...I'm sorry. [The lecturer's hold on his friend tightened, as if he hoped that could miraculously fix this somehow. Knowing it couldn't he just repeated:] I'm sorry. I wish there was something that could be done to help, but in a place like this...my power's more limited than it already was. All we can do is keep moving forward and try to fix things that way.

[Sighing, he leaned against Diarmuid a little more.]

I'm sure Ryoji will be alright. If nothing else is gone, it's likely he'll be able to return somehow.

I-I know. It's not your fault or my fault or the fault of anyone else. He will be back. I have to believe that.

[Diarmuid's arms tighten around Waver as if to remind himself that his friend is still there and not going anywhere.]

I was lucky for so long. No one close to me was taken from this place. And now every time I turn around someone else is gone and the pain just keep building. I know we have to keep moving forward and I have no intention of stopping. I no longer doubt the course we have set for ourselves, but each new loss makes my fear of being alone again stronger.

The end...really is coming, isn't it?

...It's hard to accept, but it is. [Hesitating, Waver's arms moved to his Servant's shoulders in some attempt to pull him even closer.]

I'm afraid myself, to tell you the truth. There's no way of knowing for certain how this will all end; that could even hinge entirely on the research I'm doing now. Our success or failure in this place could depend on those of us working on this-...could depend on me.

[Waver buried his face in Diarmuid's chest, trying to repress a shudder.]

...no, I'm terrified. Whether I live or die when this is over doesn't matter so much as long as I do it with you. But I know not everyone is quite so indifferent about their fate. I don't want to let them down.

[Diarmuid tucks Waver's head beneath his chin and begins stroking his friend's hair again in an effort to calm them both.]

That is what I want too. It is all I ever wanted--all I ever wished for. I just want to be able to see my master through to the end and to victory. That is even more important now that my Master is also my dearest friend and partner. Though to be honest, I don't want that end just to be freeing the Tower. I want that end to be you safe and happy after destroying the Grail.

I will do anything to get us to that point. I know you will too. And there are countless others that feel the same way. They want their happy ending just as much as we want ours.

[He tilts his head down so that his mouth is close to Waver's ear before speaking softly.]

You aren't alone in this. Whenever you get too afraid, just remember that. I am here and so are a lot of others. You aren't the only one working on this. Even if you can't find everything, that doesn't mean one of the others won't find what you missed. They all have specialties different from you and that will work in our favor because that means everyone will come at this from a different angle. What is to be found will be found. You won't let anyone down, I promise.

I...I know. I'm not alone, least of all as long as I have you with me. But even so, I'm sure to make any number of mistakes. Mistakes we likely can't afford to make at all.

[Pausing, Waver considered what he was saying before shaking his head and threading a hand through Diarmuid's hair.]

Then again, I can't afford to think like that in the first place, can I? I'm going to find some semblance of answers because I have no other option. Maybe I can't do it singlehandedly, but with everyone else we'll be fine. [Waver sighed, trying to relax somewhat.]

...I'm used to working on a deadline. This is nothing compared to the few months I had left back home.

Mistakes will happen, Waver, and we will adapt and move forward from them. I believe that is probably the best way to look at it. We can't control things well enough to keep them from happening, so it is best to not set ourselves up for failure. Instead, we will prepare for the inevitable and no let it slow us down.

[Diarmuid shuts his eyes, leaning into the touch.]

Is it that close to starting? The Fifth War, I mean.

...It's hard to say for certain, but I think it must be. It seems the ritual itself wasn't seen to any proper conclusion--whatever 'proper' is all things considered. All indication of magical activity in the area indicates the war could and likely will start in a few months.

...or it would have, if all this nonsense hadn't happened.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject