Sleepover before the storm

[attheclocktower]

Characters: [OU] Xion, Excalibur, and whoever comes
Setting: Floor 101
Format: Whatever floats your boat
Summary: It's the night before the infiltration. People are plotting, discussing, and Xion has brought a Dream Eater so those who want to try to get a good night's sleep have a marginally higher chance of doing so. So in short it's a Tower-flavored sleepover. Bring your own pillows.
Warnings: Nothing in the top level. Will try to edit if anything changes but if something comes up in one of your threads make sure to add a warning in the subject line

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[Standard mingle post procedure. Make your top levels. Tag around. Have fun. Or not, this is Animus after all.

Notes will have been passed out and quiet discussion gone around by word of mouth, just saying that several people were spending the night in the hidden floor. Anybody who spoke to Xion would have been told that she's trying to figure out a way everybody can get a good night's sleep. You'll need to supply your own blankets and pillows but... hey, at least if you have trouble sleeping, you'll have company?

Note that any characters who sleep on the Hidden Floor, if they normally suffer from nightmares will likely have notably lessened or absent nightmares (up to your discretion) owing to the Dream Eater that Xion has brought with.]

Comments

[oathshackledbird]

Still...

[He shifts to so that his body is blocking the view of most who might see, and then reaches down to lightly stroke Waver's hair.]

...we don't know how long this will last or what will happen. It's best if you get as much as you can now. There might not be a chance later...

[fionnuisce]

...I know that. Even so, I can't simply relax in a situation like this--I should be doing something, otherwise I'm restless and imagining a thousand ways things could go wrong.

[oathshackledbird]

All right, if you need to keep your mind busy that badly, help me with something.

[Interestingly enough, even as he's talking, Diarmuid continues stroking Waver's hair.]

If things go wrong, I think our best bet at protecting ourselves would be if we barricaded ourselves on this floor. It would be ideal if everyone not going down stayed here for a while, but if past infiltrations are anything to go by, a lot of people will probably want to hang out where the others went down. Not only would that mean trying to get a lot of people back here in a bad situation, but it also might tip Riki off that something is going on. Got any ideas on how we can convince them to stay here?

[fionnuisce]

We tell them exactly that.

[Although he was still considerably tense, Waver was starting to relax slightly as he spoke.]

The ones with common sense will realize lingering somewhere suspicious might be concerning, and those without likely won't be a large enough number to worry over.

Of course, if things go wrong and we determine they need backup, it might take longer for us to get downstairs. Assuming they leave from the cafeteria floor, I mean.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid nods in agreement.]

That is something I thought about. I don't want us to be blind up here, but I want as few people as possible in danger too. If I was the one hanging around whatever entry point they use, I would be able to get back very quickly and I don't need to rely on the elevators to do it. Plus, if things are really bad, you can always use a command spell to pull me back to your side...

[He doesn't add that will only work if their powers aren't shut down, but considering they are among those who have real powers now, that will be harder to do than it was before.]

[fionnuisce]

That is a good idea. I'm not entirely sold on the idea of us separating when we don't know what might happen, but it isn't as though you exactly take long to get anywhere.

[oathshackledbird]

I don't like the idea of us separating that much either, and as good of an idea as the rest is, if there aren't at least a few other fighters who stay behind, I won't feel right being the one who goes.

[Diarmuid shifts slightly again so his free hand can find Waver's and give it a squeeze.]

Just because this floor is hidden right now, doesn't mean it will stay that way if Riki comes looking for people. Ruana either for that matter.

[Granted, if Ruana comes, he's not so sure anyone would be able to stop her, but...]

[fionnuisce]

To say nothing of wherever the fuck the monsters have gone off to. But even so, I should think I'm more than capable enough to protect myself. Especially for the few seconds it would take to call you.

[oathshackledbird]

I know. You could protect the people here too, if it came to that.

[To be honest, he's not really worried about things on Waver's end. He's more worried about something happening on his end, since he will be the one who will be away from the floor. He's quick...but he still remembers just how quickly Jason's plague doctor had taken him down. Who knows if Riki has minions like that...]

[fionnuisce]

Right. There's no need to worry about me at all.

[Waver frowned, though it wasn't out of irritation.]

...So you can focus entirely on keeping yourself safe without distractions.

[oathshackledbird]

Mo Stór, haven't we been over how useless it is to tell me not to worry about you?

[He gives Waver's hand another squeeze.]

I will be careful if I am the one who goes down. I don't want to die. Not now.

[fionnuisce]

Good.

[He gave Diarmuid something that hovered between a smile and a mischievous smirk, voice lightly teasing.]

I'll be quite angry if you die now. We've a real chance to make it to the end this time, and I won't have us lose now because one of us made a foolish error.

[Waver shifted his grip on Diarmuid's hands, lacing their fingers together with that same expression.]

Trust in the strength I've cultivated these past ten years. And I'll trust in your judgment to keep yourself safe.

[oathshackledbird]

I do trust you. I always have.

[Diarmuid returns Waver's look, happiness shining in his eyes.]

I will be angry too if something happens when we are this close to the end.

[Of course, they don't know for sure what that end will be, but as long as they face it together, that is the important thing. Still, a good ending would be nice...

Diarmuid's face suddenly becomes uncertain, almost as if he is worried about saying what he is thinking out loud. Finally, though, he does decide to say it.]

I...want to make it this time.

[fionnuisce]

...I'd like to say that we'll survive, of course, but naturally I can't have such conviction when there are too many variables at play here.

[The smirk slipped a few notches, not yet entirely disappearing.]

But we'll make it to the end. I'm not a stupid child anymore and I think you may just be stronger now than he was then. Regardless of whether that end grants our wish or ends in disaster, we'll both be there to see it through this time.

[oathshackledbird]

Naturally. I...

[And then Diarmuid's voice drops off when he realizes what Waver has just said.]

Do...do you really think I'm stronger than him now?

[Can it be everything he has done to put himself back together really has accomplished what he hoped it would?]

[fionnuisce]

Well, it's difficult to measure. [Almost immediately, Waver had switched to a tone of one giving an academic lecture.] In terms of physical strength, I would say you're evenly matched. That may as well go without saying.

Mental strength is a different matter. While he and I reached a point of...understanding- [Waver hesitated before choosing that word; he'd always carefully avoided speaking about himself and Lancer in fine details. Whether that was out of respect for Diarmuid or out of the desire to avoid pain was anyone's guess.] -in hindsight, despite my wishes to the contrary I don't think he ever reached the point of valuing himself as more than a knight. Or for that matter, developing the capacity to have selfish desires as a human should. I can't find it any fault or failing of his--one can't really develop a normal sense of self in a matter of days.

I merely think all that takes strength he simply hadn't time enough to learn. Don't you agree?

[oathshackledbird]

Yes.

[And he does agree completely. How many times since coming here has Diarmuid found himself thinking or talking about something that a servant usually doesn't have the time to think about? There was even a time when he wondered if maybe servants were summoned back unable to deal with certain things because they weren't meant to.

It seems that theory, at least, has been proven wrong.]

I guess I never thought about it that way. Me being mentally stronger, I mean, but you have to get mentally stronger here. It's the only way to survive with your sanity--or some part of it anyway--in one piece.

I wonder though...if he'd had the time, would he have changed and become stronger or would he have needed a breaking like what Kayneth did to me to make him finally realize there was more to him than just a knight?

[fionnuisce]

I don't know. [Waver visibly bristled at the mention before dismissing it.] Back then, I spent far too much time thinking about whether I could have been of more help to him. Wondering what I could have done had I not been a self-absorbed little shit.

[Lowering his head back onto his arms, Waver began to look far more tired mentally than he did physically.]

...Hypotheticals get old very quickly.

[oathshackledbird]

Hey, I wasn't suggesting you would ever do anything like that.

[Diarmuid has to visibly resist leaning down to press a kiss against Waver's forehead. Instead, he settles for continuing to stroke his partner's hair and giving his hand another squeeze.]

I just meant I am stubborn and set in my ways. It would take a lot to change me...especially so drastically. But you are right, lets not linger on that line of thought. It's not important now.

[fionnuisce]

You're right. We have enough to worry about in the present without concerning ourselves with past hypotheticals.

[He sighed wearily, something in his tone beginning to develop a professional distance.]

...You and I have to be selfish from here on out. It isn't that we have any more or less to lose than anyone else, but we need to be sure we keep what we have. The name of the game from now on is 'self-preservation', you understand? If things should get difficult wherever you station yourself, escape. Protect and save who you can, but you have to survive and come back here.

[That was the nature of a magus. Survive at all costs, even at the risk of others. In most cases the method served the purpose of passing down the family's Magic Crest--for Waver, it aimed to preserve both that and things far more valuable.]

Is that clear?

[oathshackledbird]

[The question makes Diarmuid's hand tighten around Waver's. At the same time, he closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath. In any other time and in any other place, it would take the direct order of a master or lord to make Diarmuid agree to something like that. A knight doesn't run away when there is even the smallest chance to save someone. They don't put their survival before another's. That's not how it's done.

But Waver isn't Diarmuid's lord. He's his partner. Technically, Waver is his master and Diarmuid can ask him to order such a thing, but...where will their partnership be if he does? That is the easy way. The way that says that Diarmuid values the lives of others over the life of the person who helped save his sanity and who held out his hands to hold the pieces of Diarmuid shattered self while he put himself back together. It didn't matter that those pieces had been sharp and cut sometimes, Waver had still held them and waited.

There is nothing in the world Diarmuid values more than that. Nothing. Not his tarnished honor. Not his loyalty. Not his title of knight. None of those things he would have right now without Waver having been there. He would not be able to save anyone without Waver having been there to save him long enough to find himself again.]

Never an easy question with you.

[Diarmuid stops a moment, voice dropping to almost an inaudible, but intense whisper.]

Yes, it's clear.

[fionnuisce]

...I know.

[Diarmuid didn't need to raise any objection. Even as Waver had spoken, he already knew how the other would feel about it. This was the morality and priorities of a magus, not a knight. To ask him to follow that even only for a while left a terrible taste in the lecturer's mouth, and his voice was tinged with an admission of guilt.]

I know I'm telling you to go against something important to you. God forbid I beg you to have some self-preservation, but this is what we'll need to do for now. I'd expect anyone else with real powers to be thinking similarly.

Somehow, I'll make it up to you.

[oathshackledbird]

[A gentle look fills Diarmuid's eyes and he shakes his head.]

You don't have to make it up to me. With as much as I have changed, it shouldn't be surprising that some of my values have shifted as well. I'm not saying I like the idea, but where once loyalty and honor were the most important things to me, they have a challenger to that position now. After all, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have those things. It's only right he holds a higher place than them.

And before you start worrying, this doesn't mean I am giving those things up. I am still a knight, but I follow my own dictates now instead of what another tells me. I choose to do this because I want to be with my partner, not because my master has ordered me to.

[fionnuisce]

I'm not exactly a fan of the concept either, but I've long since moved past being entirely hung up on matters of guilt when it comes to these things. I do what I have to in order to survive--whether it's selfish and terrible or not isn't of much importance. Personally, I'd rather be alive and cowardly than dead and noble.

Look...don't get me wrong, I'm happy you're finally catching on and listening to yourself rather than anybody else. But I know you and I know how difficult it would be for you to leave if others end up in trouble. Just...let me apologize for asking that of you.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid sighs and then, using a bit of his speed, leans down and kisses Waver on the top of the head fast enough that no one will be able to see it. In fact, Waver will probably only realize it happened because he will feel the gentle gesture.]

If you feel like you must apologize, then I accept your apology, Mo Stór. Please, put it from your mind now. We will do what we must to survive and see to it that everyone else does too.