towerofanimus | just this once, everybody lives!

[She takes another deep breath, nodding her head. The second she feels his hands start to shake, she catches both of them in hers, lacing their fingers together.]

There's always a point in asking for more time, and you do deserve that second chance. More than anyone.

[There's a sharpness to her voice that hadn't been there before. It almost surprises her.]

No, Ryoji. It's not selfish of you, and it's not silly, either. It's normal.

[Yukiko's voice cracks again, but she manages to breathe through it this time.]

- I don't want you to die. And I know exactly how this sounds, but I'm going to say it anyway: I want you to come back with me. I want to walk through whatever door or gate or whatever it is and know you're right there.

It's not just that. There are so many things I want to show you. There are people I want you to meet, there's all that time that we don't have here, but could have.

I know how that sounds. I know it's not nearly as simple as that, because nothing ever is.

...but you deserve that chance to be happy. That's what I want for you, more than anything.

[Ryoji keeps her hands in a death grip, biting his lip and trying to calm his trembling as she speaks.]

No… not at all. I’ve done so much wrong with the short time I’ve been allowed to live, and if I continue on… who’s to say I won’t do more?

[He sighs heavily.]

I want to go with you, Yukiko… I want that more than you do, but… you know I can’t.

If I go, you don’t know what might happen. I may awaken Nyx again, initiate the Fall… I may cause more Shadows to appear, too many for you and your friends to fend off… I don’t know what I could all do, but it’s dangerous. It’s too dangerous.

[He shakes his head.]

Besides, even if I could… I’m still dead. I don’t know if the body I have now will last in another world. There’s too many things we haven’t considered, too many dangers, and…

[He takes ones of his hands to gently caress Yukiko’s cheek.]

I can’t have you getting hurt just because I don’t want to accept my fate.

[He knows he can’t have what he wants… he should accept that, instead of getting scared and causing Yukiko to suffer.]

You aren't thinking about the things you've done right. There are so many of those, and so many more that could happen. We've all made our fair share of mistakes, but dwelling on them doesn't get anyone anywhere. They're in the past now.

The past doesn't define who you are, Ryoji. It doesn't even get close.

[She knows. She knows that there's a chance of awakening Nyx again. She knows there's a chance of bringing about the Fall. She knows there's a risk with everything.

Despite all of that, Yukiko still shakes her head. Her vision blurs a little, tears coming to her eyes again, but she blinks them back as best she can.]

There are always going to be Shadows. I know that. We didn't take all of them out, and we left an entrance to the other world open. It's a risk we knew we were taking. If you made more of them appear - and that's only an if - we'll handle it.

That's the thing, though: there's always a chance of the worst-case scenario happening. There's a chance bad things will happen, but that's only one possibility. There's every chance that they won't happen, too.

[There's no stopping those tears now. As much as she said she would try not to cry, she can't stop herself.]

I - I know there are all kinds of reasons not to come with me. I'm not denying the possibility that things won't work. But if there's even the slightest chance that things will be okay, that they'll work out...

[It's a little impulsive, but she lets go of his hand so she can pull him into her arms.]

I know that it probably doesn't seem even remotely okay to think about that. I know you're scared, and I - I can't lie and say I'm not afraid. But we can't - it's -

[She swallows hard around the lump in her throat.]

...I think that if there's even a single chance that those worst-case scenarios won't happen, you should take it. It's not about hurting me or not hurting me, it's about taking that chance and running with it as long as you can.

Compared to what I've done... the things I've done right will never make up for it. The past may not define me, but... it's marred in my memory. I want to feel like I've done enough before I can move on.

And... I just don't know if I can go with you when I don't know if it'll be a good or bad choice. I may not even have that choice, and either way, I shouldn't risk it.

[He frowns when he sees the tears, trying to wipe them away before he's pulled forward. He returns the hug. It hurts seeing her like this, especially when the one thing that could dry her eyes is the one thing he wants more than anything...and the one thing that may be impossible for him to receive. He kisses the top of her head, breathing in a scent he won't be able to smell for much longer.]

I think a single chance isn't enough. Not when it's risking the lives of so many people... As much as I wish it was possible, it just... it isn't.

[The tears slow long enough for her to look up, confused.]

...but if you're behind the Seal, I don't understand how you would 'do more'. You wouldn't have that chance, would you? And here, there's only so much time...

[She shakes her head.]

...with big decisions, it's not always clear whether they're going to be all good or all bad. Sometimes it's a little bit of both, and that's okay, as long as the good outweighs the bad. I think - no, I know it will.

[No. Of course it's enough. It's more than enough. Maybe she is being selfish, but she can't bring herself not to be, not when the alternative is what it is.]

I - I know I can't force it. That would be unfair. It would really - it would mean -

[She can't finish the thought.]

I can only do more by... choosing the option that's safe for humanity. There's nothing else that would be fair.

[He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear with a shaky hand.]

I know you don't want to force it... I want more than anything to go with you, but... I just don't know.

[He shrugs.]

Besides, we're both getting worked up about something that may not even be an option to us. We should probably just focus on getting to the point where we can make a choice before we decide on anything.

You aren't thinking about what's fair to yourself. It's okay - really okay - to have things that you want.

[She sighs, just a little.]

That's understandable. At least think about it, though?

[Yukiko might not like whatever the final decision is, but it's not hers to make. Besides, Ryoji's got a point; she's exhausted and emotional and everything seems worse because of that.]

...and it's probably not the best time to make any binding decisions. I'm exhausted, and I'm sure you are, too. That's not helping things.

I... I know it is. Thank you. I'll think about it.

[He sighs heavily and pulls her close to him.]

Yeah, we're both exhausted. Honestly, I probably need to curl up in bed and sleep for a while before I can even think about anything.

No, thank you. I - that means a lot to me.

[She settles her head on his shoulder.]

I'm surprised I haven't fallen asleep on my feet yet. It feels like I could sleep for a couple of days.

[She laughs softly, then murmurs:]

...I want to stay like this a little longer.

Hmmm...

[He seems to consider an idea, but it's likely he's had this idea for a while and is playing it up.]

Well, if we're both so tired, but we both want to stay like this... maybe we could take it up to my room so the two of us can rest together in my bed?

[Even if it is what she wants, she's going to blush.]

I was hoping you'd ask. Let's go?

Yeah, come on.

[He’s blushing too as he takes her hand and leads her back to the dormitory floor.]

Thank you.

[She's all too happy to follow. It's comforting to know she won't be alone right after that fight. They had all made it, yes, but nightmares after fights like that are all too common for her. Being with someone else helps.]

[He leads her to his room and then closes the door behind them, sweeping the sheets off of the bed so she can lay down.]

Go on. I’ll be right next to you.

[She nods, taking a second to kick off her shoes and get settled.]

- thank you, love.

No need to thank me… I’m glad you’re here.

[He smiles and curls up next to her, resting a hand on her waist.]

Still -

[That sentence is interrupted by a yawn, and she can't help but giggle a little.

She smiles, settling down and letting her eyes close.]

- I like the sound of your heartbeat.

It’s strange to think that I’d have a heartbeat. Maybe it’s being close to you that kick started it into beating.

[He gently kisses her forehead and then settles back, watching her until his eyes slowly close.]

[She can't help but blush.]

It's not strange. It's - it's a...

[It's a good thing, Yukiko means, but she doesn't quite finish her sentence before she nods off.]

just this once, everybody lives!

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