towerofanimus | You say "Goodbye"

Entry tags:

You say "Goodbye"

Characters: Dave Strider and everyone ever
Setting: Wherever, everywhere, go nuts man
Format: Any; I'll follow whatever you want!
Summary: The best time to arrive somewhere is during an event. That's exactly what seems to have happened for this kid.
Warnings: Dave being an insufferable prick to everyone ever, sass, cussing, copious amounts of swag, Kim trying to get Dave killed in his intro (I'm being serious).

[Room 1-04]
Dave read the letters. He already thought the first one was utter bullshit. His world was destroyed way before this tower saved his ass. Wow, talk about late to the party. He read the second one a little more seriously. Considering that there probably isn't any way out (he's getting too used to being stuck in places, dear god), he should know how to get around.

He changed out of whatever bullshit he woke up in, putting on one of the broken record t-shirts, jeans, and converse. He made sure his shades were placed perfectly over his face before noticing the collar around his neck.

Dave tapped his finger against the collar, shook his head and headed out.

[Everywhere else ever]
In retrospect, he should have grabbed one of his shitty swords. Oh well.

"Hey." He's probably trying to get your attention. He hates to be the new guy, but Dave really needed to know what he was in for. There had to be more then to what these letters had to say. "On a scale from piece of cake to I warned you dog, how bad of an idea is it to try and get these piece of shits off our necks? We can also use a scale of one to ten if that makes it easier. I would ask where the nearest exit is, but seeing as you're here, it seems like a dumb question to ask."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[she knows who that is the minute she sees those fucking shades.

well. she knows who it's supposed to be. it's so obviously not Dave Harley (because that would be too convenient, wouldn't it) but it's definitely a Dave if she ever saw one. fucking alternates again.

she barely turns, just cocks her head enough to let him see the sardonic grin on her face. let's see how fast you can make leaps of logic, other Dave.]

Are you trying to imply that I don't want to be on permanent vacation in a slave tower when I could be doing something fucking useful? Because those are fighting words.

[Woah, woah, woah. Hold the goddamn fucking phone.

Who the fuck is she, why does she look a lot like Lalonde, and why is she just as insufferable as him?]

Wow, this is utter bullshit. Are we having some cute fucking roleplay session, or is this place tugging my chain that badly?

And wow, you are probably just as sarcastic as she is. Just cruder and without the finesse. Go back to grade school in douchebaggery. Didn't you know? Vacation on a floating rock with a bunch of crazy trolls is ten times better then a shitty tower that has us collared like bitches.

Oh, didn't anybody tell you? This entire setup's a mandatory virtual reality test; better pick a good character or you'll get stuck with a gnome bard or something equally useless.

[she slides her hands into her pockets, eyebrow raising marginally]

Or maybe you already got the short end of the stick, judging from the petty potshots you're taking. Can't think of anything better to say? I hope you know you're just reaffirming my choice to keep my words down to two year old levels.

And I'm guessing you have some beautiful and wonderful class that blows everyone out of the water. [Well, technically if she's still the Seer of Light...]

The only one who's making petty potshots is you. Waltzing around and acting like you need to baby me with your bullshit prose. At least Lalonde had class when she talked.

Naturally. Somebody's got to keep this circus of idiocy from careening into the abyss. [people who aren't douchebags or terminally naive, obviously. that Lalonde comment makes her mouth turn down into a sour grimace]

Fucking christ, she's a Lalonde? And here I thought that paradox space was finished churning out the most horrific human beings ever known.

Lemme guess. Your session was full of bullcrap too? [He's assuming you got stuck playing that shitty game.]

The world decided it should have put two of the most fucked up people to make us. Although, I guess she was better then I was. If her psychoanalyzing prowess wasn't something. [And Dave hated to admit that Rose always seemed to have a good grasp on certain things he struggled to even comprehend.] But that makes me more curious then a fucking cat on it's last life. What was my last name?

I'm starting to think that's a prerequisite to playing the damn thing. [she not sure if it makes her feel better or worse to know that things spinning out of control were unavoidable]

A Lalonde and still related to you? This universe gets shittier and shittier the more you talk. I don't think this depressing news merits me spilling anything. All it'll do is make you feel inadequate.

Things had to get fucked up before it got better. Surprise, shit got better somehow. [Considering, he thought he was on a suicide mission or whatever.]

Considering you've given me enough information to know I'm neither somehow Dave Lalonde nor Dave Strider, I can make a pretty good guess at who I could be. So I don't really need you to tell me who the fuck I am. I'm not him anyways, since I'm a god damn Strider. And I fucking love every second of being one. And I think my universe is pretty swell, thank you very much. [They probably wouldn't have honestly gotten to where they were without Jade being Jade and John being John.]

That is a surprise. How'd you manage that without somebody tripping over themselves and dropping dead?

Yeah, yeah, beat your chest a little harder. I don't think that I caught the idiotic pride dripping off your words the first time. [her tone makes it very clear she's rolling her eyes under those shades] You're as much of a douchebag as he is, although you're more than welcome to take my name. I think even Lalonde's an improvement over it.

Oh. People dropped dead. Some came back. It was mostly me dropping dead though. [Not exactly something he likes to remember.]

Hey. Fuck you. [Touched a nerve. He knows who you're talking about, and he knows Bro was a grade-A douchebag. But Bro is also dead, and he isn't going to let some insufferable broad make fun of him.] I don't care what bullshit grudge you got against him and he was as big as a douchebag as he probably was to you as he was to me. But if he fucking wanted me to survive, he sure as hell did a good job ramming that into my head.

Funny though. You're probably just as big of a douchecanoe as he was.

What, you fucked up that many times? Typical. [scoffing. even if it wasn't her Dave, knowing there was one who wasn't fully capable was nice]

Bigger, actually, considering I get to multiple everything by a bitch factor. But at least I'm not some goggle-eyed sap mooning after possibly the worst human being that could ever raise a kid. I've survived this far because of me, not his bullshit. And from the sounds of things you've been fucking that up too.

I assume you're just little miss fucking perfect.

Shut up. [He grabs the front of her shirt.] You shut up. Right fucking now. You can shit sling all you want, but I know for a goddamn fact there are people worst then him. [He doesn't want to talk about Bro anymore. Not when the last thing engraved in his mind is a sword impaled through Bro's chest. But he wasn't telling her that either.] It ain't his fault you're a bitter, ungrateful numbnut who couldn't handle it.

Of course. It's not hard to do, I don't see why anyone with more than a dozen brain cells would have trouble.

[she grasps the hand on her shirt, nails digging in hard enough to draw blood. Rose knows she should probably back off, but she'd always had a problem with stopping when it came to goading people. not only that, but this was a Dave that reacted. Harley never gave her jack shit, but here was somebody with his face getting riled up way too easily. it's just too good an opportunity to pass up on.]

No, I'm not going to shut up. Especially not when the one telling me to stuff it is a colossal fuckwit. You want me to stop telling the truth, you're going to have to make me.

[He wanted to punch that expression straight off her face. But if she could so easily ridicule Bro, that would mean he was still around to ridicule. Maybe. Maybe she truly didn't care if the guy kicked the bucket. But that made Dave wonder. Did that mean he survived in her session? Or maybe she just wasn't that far to see him dead.]

Never said you weren't saying the truth you stupid broad. Always thought you at least had enough tact to lay off a dude when he isn't around anymore to defend himself. Oh silly me. A Rose with tact? Shit, what was I thinking. Sure as fuck disillusioned myself.

Hey, it's not your fault you're operating with about three quarters of your brain dead. Shit like that happens to people all over the world, it's just the tragedy of life. [her mouth quirks up into a smirk]

Besides, tact's for people scared of upsetting somebody's delicate sensibilities.

Well, let me just go bury those three quarters of my brain with him. I'm sure he'll like the company. Company and misery basically are always up in each others personal space making the most disgusting love babies that ever existed. [He spits it out before he really thinks about what he just said.

Honestly, he's stopped caring about tiptoeing around the issue. It's not like it was going to change anything.]

Wait. You went and got him killed? [the question comes out a little too lacking in the vitriol department, but there's no much she can do about it now. besides, the idea of fucking up the timeline that badly is enough to startle even her.]

Yeah, that's exactly what happened. I thought it would be real fucking hilarious to get all of the guardians. Harhar. Nope, didn't bother to try and prevent this. That's fucking silly talk.

Jegus, I feel like I'm talking to someone who's barely even put her feet in the big kid's pool. Pool being this fucked up game.

Or maybe I'm actually running my game like a responsible Time player instead of watching my clones bounce off the walls like a four year old discovering sugar for the first time. Crazy concept, I know.

I don't actually go out of my way to let myself die all over the place, fucknuts.

And I already know for a fact the point of Rose, last name can go to hell, in each session is to fuck shit up in a grand manner by starting as much chaos and trouble possible. [Considering Rose spent quite a lot of time breaking crap, he wouldn't be surprised if this Rose did too.] Unless you're telling me you're all dolled up in those special god pajamas in disguise.

[it's incredibly difficult to tell, but the accusation of being a fuckup for the game causes Rose to snap into the defensive - her shoulders raise a minuscule amount and she clenches her teeth.]

I don't need to lie down like a sacrificial lamb just because some asshole from another universe told me to in order to get shit done. And I haven't fucked a damn thing up, so you can take your assumptions and stuff them.

[Oh, It's his turn to smirk a bit. Touched a nerve did he?]

Haha, assuming we all decided to just lie around and asked someone to show us their stabs. I didn't exactly lie around wait. [He can't say the same for John, and Jade had narcolepsy so...] If I did, Harley would have never made it into the Medium. But you seriously sound like someone shat in your cereal. Don't like potentially fucking up? Trying to play little miss perfect who can't do no wrong?

Nice to know that you had to consciously avoid getting yourself skewered just to set up the game. Couldn't even handle the beginner stuff without jumping up and down on all the mines?

[she tilts her head a little to move some wayward hair from her face, stare poisonous despite the hidden eyes] And I don't owe shit to you, let alone an explanation.

Yeah, well I had to get your sorry purple broad ass into the game too. You sure thought that was a hoot. [Spoiler: You didn't.] But that's what happens when one of the players in your session is on some crazy mission and had be relieved of his important Server player duties for more important not Server player related shenanigans. [It's fun. Being Server player to two girls while causing a scandal in the stock market. Time shenanigans are so much fun.]

What is with you jumping to conclusions and pulling words out of my mouth? Did I say you owed me shit? Nope. Sure didn't say anything about owing me. Maybe Lalonde does, but not you. So lets stop jumping down throats and making shitty assumptions.

The more I hear about your clusterfuck of stupidity that serves as a session the more I'm grateful that my colossal morons were at least easy to ignore. And that's saying something, so congratulations I guess. [let's not talk about how she almost got John killed getting him into the Medium. yes, this is a good plan.]

Oh, so now we've plummeted so far down the conversation ladder that I can only talk about things you explicitly stated? My bad, I thought I was talking with somebody halfway intelligent. I won't make that mistake again; no more reading between the lines for obvious meanings, don't have a hemorrhage.

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