001 ♑ [first honk]

[hystericull]

Characters: OU Gamzee and you!
Setting: Room 1-02, the cafeteria, and anywhere in between!
Format: Either are entirely welcome.
Summary: A doped-up, alien clown awakens in the strangest of places - and decides that he's hungry. Seems like he's got a good handle on priorities. Oh, chocolate shenanigans are good, too, although he hasn't eaten any!
Warnings: None that I can think of, except for Gamzee's filthy mouth.


Room 1-02:
[Sometimes a body just doesn't want to get its motherfuckin' move on. That's cool, though. Whatever it feels like doing, or not doing, is all chill with him. It's not like he wouldn't be laying here motionless anyway. This sure was an uncomfortable way to wake up. The immobility didn't bother him as much as the hard, flat surface he'd been placed upon. It certainly wasn't a recuperacoon - a conclusion he'd only come to because of the depressing lack of sopor slime. It also wasn't his horn pile, which he'd become accustomed to sleeping in while in the Veil. Oh, well! Better not to dwell on such trivial things, and get back at enjoying this wicked nothingness. The crazy feel of paralysis was gone, however, and Gamzee Makara regained his motor skills.

After lamenting the loss of that dope not-moving shit, he rolled not-so-gracefully off of the bed, smacking his large horns on the nightstand and landing with a "thud" on the floor. He'd managed to knock some sheets of paper off of the nightstand on his way down.

Oh. They were letters.

Well, he'd already known Alternia had been destroyed, but he was thankful for whoever wrote the letter to have saved him! And everyone being happy sounded like a fucking awesome time! He wanted to meet the author of this letter - they sounded pretty motherfucking chill.

What wasn't chill was this super-tight jumpsuit he'd been placed in. Who even gets up in a brother's bubble like that? Not that it was a huge deal. He was pretty okay with sharing his personal space, really. He crawled over to the trunk the letter had mentioned, and beamed excitedly when he saw what was inside. Among his usual clothes, which he quickly donned, he proceeded to overturn the chest, spilling bike horns, juggling clubs, and slime all over the floor. This was starting to feel more familiar already!

Eating the slime was not something he probably should have done, but who in their right mind would take an oatmeal-only rule seriously? Better yet, who not in their right mind would even notice that there was an oatmeal-only rule?

Uh-oh. The ol' nutrition sack wasn't feeling too well. In a fit of desperation, he scrambled out of the room and down the hallway.]

Cafeteria:
[After getting situated in his room and having had quite the terrible feeling in his stomach, Gamzee had somehow found his way to the cafeteria. It had taken a while, and he'd ended up going in circles, going into other people's rooms, going back into his own room, and generally unintentionally avoiding the place he'd been searching for.

He didn't really notice the bowl of oatmeal before him, and didn't remember how it got there, for that matter. What was this stuff? It was runny, sloppy, and slid over the edges of its bowl when he wobbled it from side to side (which he was doing quite enthusiastically). It reminded him of a discolored sopor pie... kind of. Hopefully it wouldn't make his digestive sack feel like a bag of angry bees like the pie had, however. He frowned at the thought, momentarily pausing his bowl-spinning game to dip and swirl a few fingers around in the stuff cautiously. The table was full of oatmeal, as were his fingers, now. He was generally making a mess, all while wearing a stupid grin.]

Comments

[cantstopme]

Well, lots of big octos and giant gyorgs, and sometimes a kangaroc or a seahat will fly down and attack!

[A pause to think, of course...]

I don't know what kind of monster fires the canons on the submarines, though. I think they're bokoblins.

[And then Link probably lost Gamzee in translation.]

[hystericull]

[WOW barrage of confusing words from the other end, now! He'll just get a more and more confused look on his face with every monster mentioned. No sea goats in there, so it's all good!]

I ain't never heard of any of those wicked motherfuckers! They be real tough bitches to all get your strife on with?

[cantstopme]

Oh, yeah! Big octos are a hundred times bigger than a boat and um, really fuckin' hard to fight! You have to throw lots of bombs at them!

And gyorgs are big fish with metal like faces that ram into your boat and try to eat you - I think they're as big as boats!

And seahats are... well, they're like peahats, but they look like big fish instead. They fly around and go brrrrmmmmmmm and ram into your boat and try to get you far away so you drown!

[That was complete with a helicopter-like impression of a seahat, of course.]

[hystericull]

[LINK WAS THE BEST STORYTELLER OH MY GOD!? For being a few years older than him, Gamzee sat there, entranced by his anecdotes like a little child. He would make surprised faces, frightened faces, and gripped the edge of the table as he revealed more events!]

Wowww! Motherfuck, Linkbro! You got wicked stories all flowin' from your chute like the most mirthful of fuckin' laughsassins ever to be faring that ferocious ocean!

How's a little pink bro like yourself not get swallowed up out there? My lusus always got his harsh on somethin' fierce about never goin' in that shit.

[He'll just chinhands some more at you, Link!]

[cantstopme]

The King of Red Lions helps me! He's my friend, and my boat; and I've also got a lot of weapons to keep myself safe!

[Bro, that ain't even the start of his stories okay; ask for one and ye shall receive even better ones from the ~master storyteller~.]

I could show you, but I kept all of my weapons in my trunk in my room...

[hystericull]

Whoaaa, a boat, and a motherfuckin' bro, too? I gotta get my fuckin' lookstubs on that shit! You got that motherfucker here with you?

[Oh my god you have a willing ear for life, Link!]

Yeah, I got my clubs up there, too. Kinda motherfuckin' dangerous to be all getting your wander on without some fuckin' protection, but a brother fuckin' scrambled out a little fast-like. This place don't seem so motherfuckin' dangeous, though, maybe...

[cantstopme]

No, he's not here... all I have is his sail.

[He blinks a bit at the dangerous part of the conversation, confused.]

It doesn't seem so dangerous to me, either. But I have my Power Bracelets if anything goes wrong and I don't have a weapon!
I could always throw stuff.

[hystericull]

[He'll be taking your wrists now, Link, and staring at the shiny bracelets! So shiny. So shinyyyy.]

Whoaa, you got jewelry and shit along with that dope-ass hat of yours? And you go all in the water and shit...

[REVELATIONS ABOUND! Spoilers, they're wrong revelations.]

You be some sort of seadweller, Linkbro!?

[cantstopme]

I'm.... I guess so? I dwell on the sea, so I think so, yeah.

[That's what you mean, right???]

But... these aren't just normal bracelets, um, bro.
They're Power Bracelets!

[hystericull]

[Definitely not what he meant, Link! Now he's checking under your little hair flaps for hidden fins on your face!!!]

Where your fins be at, motherfucker? They got their wicked disappear on a brother!

Whoaa, Power Bracelets!!! [Not that he knows that that means, but he's impressed anyway.] ...What's that mean?

[cantstopme]

I don't really have fins... I don't think I'm supposed to have any.

[But he does have really long and pointy ears!!]

Power Bracelets give me power! Watch --

[Just gonna. Pick Gamzee up out of nowhere, since he's closest.]

See?

[hystericull]

[HONKING. So much honking flying out of Gamzee's mouth right now as he's lifted clear off of the floor and up above tiny Link's head! And he's flailing! But he's having fun! Too much fun and surprise to form any other word but "honk!" apparently!]

Honkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonk!!!

[cantstopme]

[He blinks a bit, startled by all the honking, and puts him down, wide eyed.]

Are you okay? Did I scare you?

[hystericull]

[He's grinning like a fool and clapping his hands.]

How'd you even all up and do that, bro!? You be all to have motherfuckin' musclebeast arms under that fairy suit of yours?

[cantstopme]

Nuh-uh - it's the bracelets! They're magic, like my Deku Leaf and arrows!

Except I don't have to use my magic to pick stuff up.

[Congrats bro, your little pink friend is magic.]

[hystericull]

[Okay, staring in awe, now. He grins broadly, crouching his long legs down so he was at eye-level with the boy. He's seen the light. Here come the miracles. You can never escape the miracles, Link.]

Linkbro, this motherfucker thinks he got this shit all locked straight down in the pan.

Your magic be my fuckin' miracles, brother. They be all two things coming at this crazy motherfucker from all far away, all them far off galaxied magical beaches, comin' all fast-like to where we be all gettin' ourselves at right the fuck now. But they be the same wicked thing, Linkbro! Only called them different words, and ain't no brother or sister who need a word to tell 'em what they up and motherfuckin' feel in their bloodpusher, you hear my noise, motherfucker? A miracle can be all so fuckin' monstrous that it whips up them big-ass waves in your ocean and sends those brothers all the fuck way over to my shore. That's just how them fuckers work, Fairy Boy. You get your fuckin' see on of them miracles, brother?

[cantstopme]

[And he can't help staring a bit in awe too, before grinning and giving the troll a big smile.]

Mhm! I've seen miracles before!

[You are speaking magic to this little kid, Gamzee - he doesn't really understand all of it, but what he does is blowing his mind.]

[hystericull]

[He laughs heartily, a sound reminiscent of a strangulated bike horn, clapping his hands on both of Link's shoulders.]

Tell at me all those slams 'bout your magic miracles, my brother.

[cantstopme]

All of them?

[Whoah... but that's like.... ten!!!]

But I've seen so many, um... bro!

[hystericull]

[He nods sagely.]

I know, brother, I motherfuckin' know. Get your pinch on of that fuckin' stardust and poof those miracles straight down into my ducts, little man.

[cantstopme]

Well, um... I told you about the King of Red Lions - he saved my life, you know. I was thrown into the sea by a giant, glowing bird, and he saved me, and he could talk! I like to think that's kind of a miracle...
That's a miracle, isn't it?

[And a pause, to think of some more!!]

And the Fairy Queen granted me the power to shoot fire and ice arrows! It's really cool!
And I found out that one of my friends was a princess! She turned into a princess right in front of my eyes, like magic.

Um... Oh; and my Light Arrows! I should show you those - they are really bright, and can get rid of demons and phantoms!

[All these are miracles, right??]

[hystericull]

[His head is a giant bobblehead right now, nodding enthusiastically and drinking in every story Link has. Well, spacing out every now and again, but coming back to hear the especially miraculous parts.]

For fuckin' sure it's a miracle, man! Them be some of the best motherfuckin' anecdotes a brother was ever to all get his wicked hear on of! All them fuckin' miracles be around you, little bro! They be all swirlin' around and all rearin' their motherfuckin' heads at a motherfucker comin' straight from you!

[He takes his hands off of Link's shoulders and waves them around him like some sort of magic trick as he explains this crazy-ass miracle aura thing going on.]

[cantstopme]

[His eyes go wide with wonder, but his smile stays and just gets bigger; and he gives a little hop, hands in fists.]

I should show you some of them, uh... bro!

I can show you them right now -- come on!

[He turns and gives him a wave to follow, all riled up and excited thanks to Gamzee.]

[hystericull]

[He straightens up, having been crouched down to listen to Link's stories, and returns the giant smile, following dreamily in the boy's wake. He'd gotten lost so many times trying to find the cafeteria, if he could only focus enough to keep track of Link, it would all be peachy.]

Fuck yeahhhhh, motherfucker! I be right behind you!

[cantstopme]

[He lets out a little laugh then, running off to the elevator so they can get to the dorms again.

Dis gon be awesome.]