Idiots abound

[mustlovedogs]

Characters: Leon tsunball and Mondo mustlovedogs
Setting: The cafeteria
Summary: A strategy meeting between idiots. And also everything awkward.
Warnings: Leon and Mondo.

[With apparently no food, clearly everyone should step aside and let the real men handle things. ...Ie. just go looking around the cafeteria for nonexistent food. There has to be some somewhere in there, right? There's no way they would be left without anything. Not only that, but with Monobear planning things, they're definitely in trouble.]

Hey, Kuwata, you find anything?

Comments

[mustlovedogs]

[He suddenly grabs Leon's shoulders]

You gotta calm down, Kuwata!! We've gotta think...!

[He seems pretty bent on thinking for about a minute, gritting his teeth as he grips Leon's shoulders and says nothing.

Until the inability to think pisses him off and he lets go of Leon only to pick up a chair and throw it.]

Aaah, fuck!! Shit!! We're fucking doomed!

[tsunball]

[ The moment Mondo grabs him like that he tenses up.. he knows Mondo's strength, after all, so for a moment there's a mental prayer of pleasedon'thurtmepleasedon'thurtmepleasedon'thurtme until he finally lets go after that agonizing minute and he lets out a sigh of relief.

(Still, he isn't planning on switching places with that chair anytime soon..) ]

A-.. at least you're lucky, Oowada! Even if we're doomed and we'll die, you'll have had your girlfriend here..! [ priorities. ]

[mustlovedogs]

[Wait what? Does he have a girlfriend he's not aware of, that would be pretty sweet-- but no it doesn't work like that, does it...

The confusion does do a good job of calming him down (for the moment) at least.]

Huh? You got me mixed up with somebody else.

[tsunball]

[ .. oh, hey, he even got him to calm down?! Yes, Leon knows about the soothing magic that the topic of women brings, he totally knows..

But then again, it's sort of weird to see Mondo being so confused over it. Just for a moment, because then he recalls Chihiro acting the same way, clearly even he's doing a good job of keeping up the whole keeping the relationship a secret thing!! But Leon's already seen through it in his mind, so he just grins. (Moodswings like a girl's.) ]

No way, man! C'mon, you don't have to keep it a secret for me, you can just admit it! Don't want me putting the moves on her instead, right? [ Not that he would since Chihiro isn't his type, but it's a joke judging from the way he laughs.. ]

[mustlovedogs]

The fuck are you talking about? Who's saying she's my girlfriend?

[Why would anyone even WANT to say that...]

[tsunball]

... [ .. okay, bro, this isn't cool?! bros don't keep secrets from each other about girls?! but fine, fine, he'll go along with it.. ]

Fujisaki, of course! Who else could it be? [ or rather, Leon's brains think 'she' is his girlfriend rather than Chihiro saying it, but he's neglecting to tell about that part.. ]

[mustlovedogs]

...Fuji...Fujisaki said that?

[But it's impossible for him to be anybody's girlfriend...... He knows Leon doesn't know about that yet, but still, Chihiro wouldn't say something so obviously false, right??]

[tsunball]

Seriously, you're still acting as if you have no clue about it?

[ or you could just be wrong, Leon?? but nope, the thought doesn't even cross his mind. ]

[mustlovedogs]

Why the hell would I have any clue about it?! That kid's not...

[But, he gave his word to Chihiro that he wouldn't tell his secret, and trying to explain anything much would involve giving it away, so he just shuts his mouth.]

[tsunball]

[ Because shutting up in the middle of that sentence isn't suspicious at all.. Luckily (??) Leon is an idiot as always. ]

Fine, fine, I get it, pretend it's a secret even in front of me. [ that hurts, bro!! ] Not like I'd judge you for being into chicks like that, y'know, it means there's all the more choice from the chicks with dynamite bodies for me!

[mustlovedogs]

I'm telling you it ain't like that...!! Just ask Fujisaki! ['Even if he was a girl';] That kid'd never go out with me after--

[Shit he can't say anything. Can't break the man's promise, doesn't want to say he killed the chipmunk...]

[tsunball]

[ too bad, because after that it's difficult for Leon to not at least catch on to the whole murder deal.. because you can practically see the cogs turning in Leon's head, and slowly but surely his expression gets more and more shocked to a point where it's near-comical. ]

Oowada, don't tell me.. the person you killed was Fujisaki?! [ the strongest guy in the group kills the girl who seems half hamster, ah.. ]

[mustlovedogs]

[Well, so much for that...]

I didn't-- I didn't mean to, alright?! You get it, right, Kuwata?! It was an accident...a really fucked up accident...

[tsunball]

W-.. well, I get that part! [ Because he feels a lot better about what happened with him too when Mondo was in a similar situation, gives him someone to relate to, at least.. but at the same time, Chihiro definitely wouldn't have gone to stab Mondo, so.. what.. ]

It's just.. shit, what kind of accident was that, Oowada? When I was talking to her earlier she was full of praise about you, it was so obvious the two of you were dating, but now I hear this?!

[mustlovedogs]

We're not dating, got it?! [He grabs Leon by the collar and gives him a look.

But, okay, he has to stop that in order to explain...]

That kid...she doesn't remember it. Said she was going to meet me before winding up here. But see, if she got there, she'd be dead. She wanted me to help her get stronger, but, I thought she was saying shit about me and I got pissed off...

1 / 2

[tsunball]

[ oh god-- a slightly scared sound manages to escape him at that, please don't hurt him?! ] I got it, I got it--! Y.. you're not dating, not at all!

[ He might actually be genuinely saying that.. maybe.. probably.. who knows. ]

2 / 2

[tsunball]

[ At the very least he has to swallow at the last part and sober up a little since ah, yes, he recognizes this.. ]

... And then you just stop thinking straight, huh? [ from his tone it's easy to guess he doesn't mean 'you' as in just Mondo. ]

[mustlovedogs]

...Yeah... [He gets you, bro...] I blacked out, don't even remember doing it.

It's all 'cause of that bastard, making us paranoid...

[tsunball]

Of course it's that retarded bear's fault..! It's not like we would've killed anyone otherwise, right?! If he hadn't done all of that, nothing would've happened!

.. And then we even got punished for it like that..

[mustlovedogs]

What's with those fucked up punishments when it's his fault, aa?! Showing us those videos, and those cards with our secrets...!

[tsunball]

He's just trying to make excuses for killing us as if it's some kind of fucking game..! Even the punishments are.. [ gah, base.. ball... ] .. he's just mocking us! Who the fuck does he think gave him the right to do that to us?!

[mustlovedogs]

Nobody, that's who!! Putting girls in there too just ain't right!

[tsunball]

[ o.. kay.. Mondo.. that's not really what Leon was concerned with, having girls around is always a good thing after all (even if some of them are crazy) but fine, whatever you want.. ]

.. Speaking about girls.. [ girls always make him moodswing, clearly. ] Did you notice yet that Enoshima appeared in this place too?

[mustlovedogs]

[wow Leon, way to 180 there...]

Oh.

Yeah, that's right, saw her beating at the window.

[tsunball]

[ > implying he doesn't moodswing like an emotionally volatile girl on pms ]

.. And?! That's all you have to say about it, Oowada? [ nothing about how nice it is to have a hot chick joining the ranks?! are you dating Chihiro for real after all?! ]