towerofanimus | Midsummer Bash

Midsummer Bash

Characters: Lancer, the people he invited to the party, and everyone else who wants to stumble in
Setting: Floor 25, July 5, afternoon
Format: Open
Summary: Lancer throws a party for midsummer, since the Tower obviously needs a breather.
Warnings: None so far.

[To be honest, Lancer wanted to have the party in the evening, sometime around twilight. That would have been the most romantic time for it. Unfortunately, when in the Tower, one had to account for things like monsters. As a result, he had to hold it during the afternoon. But it wasn't too bad of a compromise.]

[This was, of course, a more simple affair than Diarmuid's birthday. For food, he had hauled a couple of tables up here and lined the table with dinner food. The centerpiece was a cake which had a heart drawn on it in red frosting. In one corner of the meadow, he had used some boxes and tarp to make some sort of booth where people could hide from the sun (and steal kisses off of each other). In the center of the meadow, he had piled a large stack of wood, perfect for lighting a bonfire by the party's end. The structures had all been surrounded with wreaths made from the meadow's flowers.]

[As soon as he's done with the setup, Lancer will sit down next to the firewood pile, waiting for people to come.]

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Diarmuid...listen to me.

[Waver stepped forward, gently raising both hands to Diarmuid's face and guiding the knight to look back at him.]

You have been doing this for a very long time, and very old habits are hard to break. There's nothing wrong with you, and you're still just as human as I am. You just need to learn to follow your own orders instead of someone else's. Until then, if you need a Master...I'll be here.

I... I...

[In the end, he can't manage to find the right words so he just nods, moving forward to rest his head against the other man's shoulder again.]

I'm sorry... I know. I know. It's just... One of my friends was one of Ruana's starter monsters last month. He's been fighting so hard and now...now he's just broken. And I couldn't fix him. I couldn't find the right thing to say. If...if I was human would I have known? Would I? Am I so far removed now that I can't help my friends when they really need me?

And Ryoji... If I...

[He cuts himself off, falling silent for a moment before continuing.]

Even after all this time... I still want to save them all. How? How do I do that? A human can't, so I have to be something else. Servants are just tools to be used. If I stop with this foolish wish to be human and just become a servant you can use me. You can just use me as a tool to save them. That would be okay, wouldn't it?

[Waver. He's rambling. Shut him up...]

Diarmuid. [His voice was firm but not controlling; the tone of a stern friend instead of a Master. Waver wrapped his arms around Diarmuid and pulled him closer, running a hand lightly through his hair.]

You idiot. Of course it wouldn't be okay. You're not a tool and you don't have to try to make yourself one. You're human, and humans screw up. Sometimes you can help people, sometimes you can't. Maybe if someone's lucky they can save everyone they set out to save, but there's really no such thing as a perfect victory. Someone along the line is going to lose a battle or two before they win the war outright.

I don't want you as my tool, I need you as my friend. I can't save everyone or escape this place alone. But if we work together, we can do damn near anything if we work hard enough.

[Diarmuid doesn't answer Waver for a long moment. The only sound is his shuttering breathing as he tries to pull himself back under control. He almost wants to cry, but he's cried so much since he first got here and he is tired of it. He's tired of finding his feet only to have them knocked out from under him again. He's tired of nothing he does being enough. Not enough to help Suzaku. Not enough to save Ryoji...

No.

He stops his train of thought there. It's not getting him anywhere. Instead he focuses on what Waver has said to him, the feel of Waver's hand in his hair, and the strength he can feel across their bond. He focuses on that and uses it as an anchor to force himself back into control.]

I'm sorry. Apparently, it was time for my regularly scheduled breakdown. Maybe we should start writing these down so we can try and keep them away from fun events like this party.

[The joke is weak, but he's not feeling all that strong at the moment anyway. Diarmuid might have some of his control back, but it's still unsteady at best.]

I won't hold it against you, I promise. In a place like this, that kind of thing is unavoidable.

[He laughed softly, trying to reassure Diarmuid as best he could.]

Listen...it's okay if once in a while, you need a Master to keep you from doing stupid things. I want you to be able to stand on your own and follow your own orders. But until then, I'll be whatever you need me to be.

It's just...all I've known. As far back as I can remember. Even when I was just a small child. I knew there would always be someone else's commands I would bow to. I...

[He laughs softly.]

I'm sorry. Why am I telling you this? You already know.

[Diarmuid steps back and smiles at Waver.]

Thank you. I will try to keep those times few. I much prefer having you as my friend than my master.

[For a moment, Diarmuid closes his eyes. When he speaks, there is conviction in his voice.]

I don't know when it will be, but I will fight him. He has to pay for what he has done. I don't know if I can win alone, but it will happen.

I know you do, Diarmuid. And for what it's worth, I'd sooner be your friend.

[Waver turned serious as well, frowning in what seemed like disapproval.] Don't be stupid. You won't be alone in this as long as I'm here.

Waver...

[His look is both grateful and sad.]

I honestly don't know if I can beat him. I have talked to the younger Sephiroth and my spear's abilities are useless against their type of magic. All I will have is my fighting skill and my servant abilities.

[Diarmuid shakes his head.]

I cannot ask you to stand next to me in a battle that will likely end with my death.

Tough, because I will regardless of whether you ask me or not.

[Clearly upset, Waver's right hand curled into a fist.]

What--you expect me to only fight with you when we know you can win? Fuck that. I'm not that kind of coward and you know it. And I'm not going to stand by and let you fight someone like that alone. End of discussion.

No! That's not it! That's not it at all!

[Diarmuid's eyes narrow, but instead of being angry like one might expect, they are filled with fear.]

Maybe it makes me a coward, but I don't want to see it again! I don't want to see you die in front of me again!

[That seemed to defuse any anger Waver felt almost immediately, his next few words notably softer.]

...Do you think I want you to run off and get killed yourself? That would likely hurt me just as much as my own death would hurt you. But even so, we can't just work together only when it's convenient for us. In this place one or both of us are pretty much bound to suffer and even die a few times before this year's over.

I know it hurts even just in concept and I'm sorry. But you can't tell me to stay behind so you can go alone to a fight we could even have a chance of winning together. Please--I don't want to die, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid to. Least of all if I can help you and fight at your side.

[Diarmuid listens closely to Waver's words and then, after a moment, laughs sadly and shakes his head.]

I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm right back to putting myself on a different level from everyone else. Expecting myself to do more while at the same time not caring if I am hurt in the process as long as another isn't.

I'm sorry. I thought I was passed doing that...

[He finally looks back at Waver.]

I have a long way to go yet, don't I?

We both do, honestly. I'd say you and I are screwed up in several different ways. [He smiled slightly, resting a hand on Diarmuid's shoulder.] But we'll do it together. Right?

Right.

[Diarmuid gives him a sheepish smile.]

Thank you. And...I'm sorry in advance if this thing with Sephiroth gets us both killed. I have thought about asking my brother to help since he knows Ryoji as well, but I don't know if I should really involve another.

If it does...I'm alright with that, I think. As long as we're fighting together at our best, I can't really be angry if we lose.

[Waver considered that last sentence for a moment before he continued speaking in a slightly warning tone.]

He's sure to be angry if you don't at least tell him. And three-on-one sounds a little unfair, but I'm not necessarily against the idea if he wants to get involved as well.

I would not mind fighting more often and more openly with you at my side. I am proud to have you as my friend and master. The only reason I haven't said this before is because I have been afraid of you being hurt, but as you say we are both likely to die and be hurt more than once before this ends.

I want people to know that if they mess with you, they will have to deal with me.

And you are right. My brother will be furious if I don't tell him. I will make it a point to do so soon. I know three-on-one is unfair, but what he did to Ryoji was unfair too.

[While he might be ashamed of feeling this way, the look Diarmuid gives Waver is stern and shows no signs of that shame.]

It is wrong, but right now I care little about being fair. For the first time in my life, I really only care for revenge.

Nothing would make me happier than to finally be able to fight by your side. I don't have to hide behind you anymore--I may not be very strong, but I'm skilled enough in my own right.

[Waver seemed to take quite a bit of pride in those words, and more than that he looked pleased with the conclusion Diarmuid had reached.]

Good--I was worried you might think more than one-on-one was pushing it, but if you're willing then I don't see any reason not to use a few tactics to push odds slightly in our favor. I certainly never said I was a saint, after all.

[Sneaky bastard.]

Nothing would make me happier than to have you there. I am sorry I've made you wait this long...

[Diarmuid ducks his head a little in shame. However he looks back up at Waver's next words and gives him a confused look.]

Aren't you mad at me for wanting such a selfish thing? Wouldn't it be better if I just let things go and focused my energy on helping everyone fix their worlds so we can go home?

[Not that he would be able to just let things go, but...]

I can't say I'm entirely behind the idea of revenge, but I'm glad you can be a little selfish now and then.

But I shouldn't be! I shouldn't.

[Diarmuid's said it before, but unlike before he doesn't sound as convinced of it as he used to be.]

I...

[He sighs and lets his sentence trail off.]

No, I can't finish saying that. I would be lying if I did...since I don't believe it anymore.

What were you going to say?

[Diarmuid looks toward Waver for a moment before looking away again, ashamed.]

Honestly? I was going to say that I don't have the right to be selfish or want things for myself, but I don't believe that anymore. It might be wrong, but I...do think I have the right to them now.

... [Waver immediately broke out into an unusually bright smile,putting his arms around Diarmuid's shoulders and hugging him tightly.]

It's about damn time you got that through your head.

[For a moment, Diarmuid is too shocked to really reply, then he relaxes and a small smile crosses his face.]

Sorry... You realize, though, that just because I admit it doesn't mean I feel okay about it. That...is going to take me a while yet.

All the same, it's a good start. I'll accept that over nothing at all.

Midsummer Bash

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