towerofanimus | ❝trying to talk my way out of this❞

Entry tags:

❝trying to talk my way out of this❞

Characters: Willow and whoever. OPEN.
Setting: Sixth floor (the forest).
Format: I slightly prefer action over prose, but I'll match whatever you want to do!
Summary: Willow's been doing a lot of magic lately, and tries to meditate to help manage it. Unfortunately she picks the worst place possible. Run into her in A or B, just let me know which one in the subject!
Warnings: Grief. Addiction recovery.

A.

[Since she got here, she's been doing magic almost nonstop. Well, not really, but it feels that way. Casual, advanced, ritual and on the fly-- she's even been teaching it, a little. Willow desperately needs to meditate and feel the Earth beneath her before it catches up with her. She can feel the temptation, feel how easy it is, to just solve everything with a burst of power and a hand gesture, maybe a well-placed word...

But it doesn't solve everything, and it won't bring Tara back. Tara, who had just wanted the best for her; who had wanted her to use magic for good things, as an expression of compassion toward the world. Not for selfish reasons. Willow feels intensely ashamed that she still struggles with this, but that doesn't mean she doesn't. She needs the grass under her hands and trees above her head to recenter herself. To find peace.

She shakes out a circle of ash about five feet in diameter, within sight of the stairs. It's a magical perimeter, intended to stop anything with malicious intent from crossing in and harming her. She hasn't had to use one in years, but Eridan had warned her about the monsters lurking in the woods. Willow uses one now, and settles herself cross-legged in the middle.]

B.

[Some time later, just as she'd really been settling into her inner space, the part of herself that stays calm and undisturbed no matter how much black magic roils through her... she hears a voice, and her breath catches. She could've sworn her heart stopped.]

Tara? [she whispers, and a moment later, she hears another trace of it echoing again.

No. She's dead. Willow lurches to her feet, leaving the small bowl of ash behind, forgotten, and rushes over to the stairs. She's breathing fast, almost hyperventilating, as she races down them.]

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[GASP HOW INTIMATE!!!! lkjsdf no not really. He does eye her sort of warily for a moment though... But if her hands are going to be taken up, that probably means it's slightly less likely that she's going to try to hurt him...]

[Sets his hand in hers and... smiles back, carefully again. He's still not sure what to think about this, but he suspects he'll know soon enough!]

How long?

[Her hands grip his gently, and it's not like she does anything this forward with a relative stranger unless she has to... Willow is intensely aware of social boundaries, and shoots him an apologetic look for how awkward this inevitably is.]

It depends on how injured you are. This might make you a little tired, but I figure it's a good trade off, right? I'm just going to use the energy in the E-- er, planet, to speed up your own healing process a little.

Ready?

[Glances at her hands when she actually takes them because... welp this is the first time he's actually felt human skin? He's KIND OF SURPRISED that it feels as delicate as it looks. How do these people even survive their trials, wow...]

[But he just smiles a little wider at her apologetic look. S'okay, brosis. You do what you gotta do sometimes]

Yes, if you are.

[Willow is definitely a delicate little flower, physically. It's her glaring weak point.

She feels bolstered by his smile, and gets down to business. This guy, healing, stat.] Then here we go. [She closes her eyes, focuses. And... okay, she can do this. This is healing, it's good magic, she's doing good. The complete lack of guilt involved is a huge relief.

It takes a few moments, but then there's a warm, faintly tingly feeling, almost like pins and needles, wherever he's injured. Gradually, slowly, flesh knits together and pain lessens. It's almost like trying to watch a plant move-- they do, but increment by increment, so that you see the result and not the process.

White magic is all about a fair trade, equilibrium. It means not getting something for nothing; it means paying respects to the Earth. So there's a price to pay for healing, and that is energy. Willow wasn't kidding-- the more he's healed, the more drained and tired he'll feel, and so will she. She's using some of her own energy to bolster the process. Just a little.]

[Oh good... he... tenses when it starts! That pins and needles feeling is close enough to pain that it sets off little warning bells in his head. He's about to take his hands back and possibly also lsjdf punch her in the face for tricking him. Except his eye catches on the back of his hand where he'd been cut open first, and the long scrapes have... nearly gone]

[So he holds back, taking a breath between his teeth and trying to stick through this... It's... kind of terrible actually! Pins and needles in a couple places is sort of annoying, but he gets it literally over his entire body. There's barely an inch on him that hasn't been bruised or cut up or broken, though the worst of it is definitely concentrated along the deep gashes across his back and sides, and around the joints of his wings]

[I HOPE she's being careful about that... draining energy thing though because... three days ago he was half dead, and three days is not really a very long time to stop being half dead. If he were human, he would be pretty much... bedridden. And not moving at all... And he's too stubborn to say anything if, or when, the drain starts to overtake whatever good she's doing. It doesn't help that he's been having trouble sleeping already. With that added on, it takes everything in him just to grit his teeth and focus on keeping his eyes open]

You are way more injured than you let on, [she says out loud, not moving otherwise but with a faint note of accusation to her tone. Willow totally would've gone about this differently if she'd realized he was this badly off, but she's starting to get a hint about it given how long it's been and he's still healing.

She might barely know him, and maybe this will come back to bite her later, but today what Willow really needs is to do something good that she can't feel guilty for. Something Tara would've been proud of. And that spare thought, that if it were Tara here with her this would be a cinch, neither of them would hesitate, it would get done so easily because Tara is so well suited to healing and would always help someone she'd just met--

It motivates her. Willow throws her strength into it entirely and stops taking his. She can deal with being tired if it means this guy doesn't have one foot in the door to death.

A short while later, she stops, letting out a long breath and opening her eyes. She feels a bit light-headed from how much effort that took.] I think I got most of it. Any more and we'll both be useless.

Edited 2011-12-15 21:35 (UTC)

I've had worse. [...yep, he says that completely seriously. Dude's lived a rough life, you know!]

[And he... feels it, when she stops taking from him, like a relieved breath filling him up from the inside first before he exhales. He's still hella tired though, and it shows in the half-lidded smile he gives her once she opens her eyes again at the end of it. For a moment, he doesn't say anything at all, just experimenting with the turn of his wrists, the opening and closing of his wings. WELL THIS IS KIND OF... INCREDIBLE???? The little aches left over are easy to ignore, and it is only that monumental exhaustion that keeps him from climbing up the nearest tree and taking to the air again]

[Still, he's... curious... about that shift right in the middle there. So: ]

What happened...? I uh, stopped getting tired, all of a sudden?

[She lets go of his hand and draws her own into her lap, shifting in evident embarrassment. She likes doing good deeds, but having them acknowledged is something else entirely.]

I kind of... used my own strength instead of yours. I didn't realize how hurt you were, [she goes on, taking on a more scolding tone now.] And you were trying to fly around like that!

I couldn't just-- leave it.

[...what]

[w h a t]

[What are random acts of kindness how does that work. Also, wow he hasn't heard that tone of voice since the dawn before his moirail died. Jesus. Slowly raises an eyebrow... before he just laughs, shaking his head. Humans sure are weird!!!]

You could have. Uh... I'm glad you didn't, though. [...hell, he can't let that tone go. The instinct to argue with it is too strong] Also, of course I was flying. How else could, I have fixed the damage he did? [Building up muscle post-maiming is important so strength isn't lost along the way! Gosh, Willow! Let him just not mention how utterly terrified he was for a little while there that he'd been grounded forever]

I'm just saying, it was a little early! [she protests, arguing right back without delay. Friendly debating is a fact of life for her, and Willow dishes out worried scolding uninhibited.

She also dishes out those random acts of kindness like it's her job.] And I really couldn't. I know you guys have this hang up about people doing nice stuff for you, but we humans try to help each other out whenever possible. I'd be a major bitch if I just left you like that, trust me. Totally excommunicated from the official superhero sidekick club.

It's never too early to uh, start recovering...! [Yes it is shut up Summoner you don't know anything about medical shit]

[The second bit makes him... pause again. That... actually sounds really nice to him? Helping people out when they need it is definitely a thing he's interested in doing, but... it's hard. Empathy is hard when everything about his culture tells him not to indulge it]

Why?

It's totally too early if you're just going to smash into trees. Sorry. [Yup, denied. Though Willow looks sympathetic here and not at all mocking.]

It's just the right thing to do. Our society smiles on good morals, and also good personal hygiene. Not that there aren't exceptions, but they usually aren't... violent exceptions. For the most part.

[Opens his mouth to continue arguing but... WOW, that explanation there makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL. Of course it values good morals and hygiene! That is what civil society does, after all. Except... the first one of those definitely involves a fair amount of violence for bluebloods at least. Lowblood makes the mistake of existing, highblood culls them for the good of trollkind. Lowblood takes it with as little resistance as possible, highblood enjoys it as best they can. This is what 'good morals' are for him]

[More and more, he gets the feeling humans come from a world that he can assume nothing about. Worse, he thinks maybe it was a better world then the one he was saddled with, if violence is somehow the exception to morality... even if its people seem so... weak...]

What does that uh... mean to you, then? 'Good morals'? [Finger quotes that with one hand. Gosh, this could get really deep, maybe he shouldn't have this conversation half asleep lsjdf]

[Willow is completely used to participating in dangerous, world-saving antics while running on far too little sleep, so she musters herself admirably. She appreciates his air quotes, too.]

Well, it's pretty subjective. Earth has a lot of different countries and cultures-- I'm from America, not that that means anything to you, but just so you know not to assume about other humans that you meet.

Anyway, being moral is like... helping people whenever they need it, like I said. Not taking advantage of anyone, not betraying someone's trust, working hard and contributing to society. Withholding judgement and being understanding of their circumstances... Pretty much all the stuff you see on after school specials.

[Eyebrow raising to the first part!!! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A UNIFIED PLANET??? HOW DO YOU EVEN EXIST???]

[But uh... wow that sounds really nice? Kind of like what he wants to work towards after getting rid of the Condesce... Hmm )'8]

That is uhhhh... basically, the opposite. Of where I'm from. Actually. [After school specials for trolls are almost certainly hideous]

Yeah, I've been told, [she says, the utmost empathy written across her face.] I find it horrifying, to be honest. The first troll that described it to me might've gotten an earful about social injustice.

[Yeahhh he definitely did. Willow looks a bit sheepish, but not at all repentant.]

[...oh gosh, she's passionate about social injustice? And she maybe sort of understands because at least she's had it explained to her once before? Come here Willow, let him kiss you]

[lksdf no, he actually just GRINS at her. How exciting!!!]

Was it a highblood? They uh... probably needs more then, a talk about it, before they'll change.

[Man, why is he grinning at her? Willow is getting all indignant and outraged about the hemospectrum again, grinning is totally not appropriate.]

No, he was pretty much the lowest, [she explains, deciding not to get into the whole well in that Eridan's world the sea dwellers are on the bottom thing. Not really relevant.] But don't worry, if anyone gives me sass about this, they are in for way more than a lecture.

[She does look pretty angry, actually.] I know you've just seen fluffy kitten Willow so far, but I am not all sunshine and roses, and no one is getting racially subjugated on my watch!

[Gosh, he is really just... terribly pleased by her indignation, honestly. It is a good thing to see again on someone who isn't him, even if it's weird that an alien is getting so worked up about a thing that apparently she has never dealt with]

Uh... yes, I think I appreciate the, sentiment to those words, even if I'm not exactly sure what, some of them mean. [Or why you would portray sunshine as apparently the opposite of righteous anger? Ehhhh, he really has a lot to learn doesn't he...]

[There's this thing where Willow made friends with a lowblood and is now terribly personally invested in it. Not to mention she gets upset about Thanksgiving every year, because why are they celebrating the near-complete genocide of Native American society?

In short, she has a lot of feelings.] --Oops, sorry. I don't think I can turn off the awkward Earthling babble. And I didn't mean to go off on you, either.

Obviously you're not someone I should be upset with, especially when you're all conked out still from healing.

[He only has that pleasant half-lidded smile for her again. Yes, he is quite tired. Even the excitement of finding a possible ally with REALLY COOL MAGIC POWERS can't quite get him up and going again. A good day's sleep in a recuperacoon would be just about perfect right now BUT HAHA that's apparently not going to happen @_@ Stupid beds... Anyway...]

It's alright. It is an easy, topic to go off about...! I'm used to it uh, by now. [Hanging around other revolutionaries, arguing about politics all day erryday will do that for you]

I guess you must be, if you live with it.

[Eying how tired he seems.] Not that I'm not enjoying our cultural exchange, but I'm thinking maybe I should let you go take a nap. Get it out of your system.

[Little head shake[ I am only lucky, to be surrounded by people brave enough to talk about it.

[Speaking out against the highbloods is not exactly common practice most other places!! Also, his smile turns a little frustrated at the mention of sleeping. He would love to, Willow, really he would]

I'm not sure uh... it would do a lot of good. Unless you know of a source of sopor slime that I am not, aware of?

Sopor slime? What is that?

[Yeah, she's totally missed this part of troll life.]

[......wait do humans really actually sleep on a mat that's been raised off the ground??? That's not just like... a last, incredibly weird, act of desperation????? GOOD GOD, HOW DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN FUNCTION]

It's... You sleep in it? In a recuperacoon? It keeps daymares away... [Perplexed stare, Willow. Forever perplexed by humans]

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