Glamour Failure

[animusmods]

Characters: any
Setting: all around the Tower
Format: any/party-style
Summary: A general mingle log for the reaction to the beginning of the Idealism event.
Warnings: PG-13; please include any more detailed warnings in your threads if necessary

Comments

[turntechtrainer]

[Is that you?

He wants to answer with a joke but it feels a bit hollow to do that. So he just falls silent and turns towards the blue figure that sounds like his friend. His lips upturn as if he found something funny.] You can call yourself whatever you want to. Not like they can take that from you.

[His choices, his reactions to things, he's the same as any other Dave. They're just flesh compared to his fluid body and shimmering ball inside. That's one thing he won't deny. He is Dave.

One of the thousands. He can't help but sound tired now. Once again, the whole of things just don't really matter.] Yeah. I'm Dave. The tall fluid pocket one.

[ghostytrainer]

[John laughs.]

I think we're all fluid pockets now, Dave. But Tall Dave, got it. So you're my Dave. Should I be short fluid pocket John to match?

[turntechtrainer]

We are bags filled with mostly fluid. We're like gogurt but a lot less disgusting.

[He stuffs the thing that is supposed to be a sword away and spreads his hands wide.] Welcome to the flip side.

Where everything is all just a dream.

Anyway yeah. Tall Dave works. This explains why polly pocket me is so damn short.

[ghostytrainer]

But since we're souls does that makes us Sou-gurt? How did those commercials go? [A beat as he tries to recall those stupid commercials for nasty tubed yogurt.]

Tower-brand Sou-gurt, it's soul in a tube!!! [Badum-pshhh!]

This is a really shitty dream though. Like, come on Liv Tyler is nowhere to be seen, it automatically fails the first standard of a "good dream".

How does this explain that though? Short Dave, I mean.

[turntechtrainer]

Factory fuck up. Or they got lazy. Oh this looks like the dude it's supposed to be. Good enough. Shit yeah, let's pack it up and traumatize the fuck out of this guy. Just like every other sucker we bag.

[This is awful as hell and he can't stop saying exactly what's on his mind.]

Sou-gurt sounds like some foreign takeout. I refuse to think I belong in a white box with a pair of chopsticks. I'm not greasy. I'm not anything but low, low, no fat something or other.

[ghostytrainer]

Wow, Dave, that is so not where short people come from. I am so offended right now, you have no idea.

[He's not.]

So basically you're some kind of ridiulous Starbucks hipster drink. Sounds about right.

[turntechtrainer]

[Speaking of hipsters. He looks down and pauses. Then looks down John's vague frame and whistles through his teeth. After that vague odd behavior he looks behind him.

Whatever he finds, he looks back to his best friend.] Guess what we don't have.

Dicks and asses.

The dick was a lie.

[ghostytrainer]

[Dude are you looking him up? Is that what you're doing right now? What the hell, Dave? What the--]

Oh my god. [Yes, Dave, that was clearly the most important thing to focus on here.]

We're all Ken.

[And here is John, going along with it.]

Except for those of us that are Barbie, I guess. This is terrible, Dave. Terrible. There are no more butts to scope this is the worst tragedy that has ever fallen the tower, hands down.

[turntechtrainer]

Worst yet, if you wanted to do anything. Welp. You can think about it but there is no way you can do anything more than dry hump like the desperate teenager you are.

[He holds up a finger, because making this terrible joke is better than everything else.] Brightside! No mess to freak out about. No chance of knocking anyone up. Just slip and slide, bro. Slip and slide.

[ghostytrainer]

Any and all plans to give us boners will fail from now on. We don't got one. We'll never got one because you can't got what you don't have to got with in the first place.

[Shut up that made perfect sense.]

Also, you dick, you just ruined slip n' slides forever.

[turntechtrainer]

[He grins. John just gave him a chance at being worse than before. It's all too easy to just keep going. Since there's no off switch anymore his grin grows wider.] You can be monkeys in a barrel.

Snakes and ladders. Bumping into each other on your way around the sorry board. [He leans closer because this is Dave being a dick as he drops his voice.] Claiming park place

[ghostytrainer]

[John shoves Dave away gently, snorting a little with laughter.]

You're terrible! I'm never going to be able to look at a board game the same way if you keep this up and then what will I do? Its like you're slowly trying to taint everything fun in this world.

[turntechtrainer]

I'm just making it fun. Don't be a spoil sport, dude. [Dave waggles his eyebrows, ignoring that it's probably hard to tell that.

He's being himself. Make jokes, keep going. He can't afford to do what he did in the game after a tragedy. Not here.

Besides, back there they had a chance at RISING UP. Here...

well.

John hadn't given up.

As long as John didn't fall, then he'd stand beside him. He snorts and prods at John's side.]

Fun allergic, that's you. Allll you.

[ghostytrainer]

[John will never give up. As long as there is still hope, still a chance, he won't give up.]

[And sometimes even when there is not a chance, but he thinks there's one because he's John and he's far too optimistic for his own good.]

Wow no I am not. I live off of fun! Thrive off of it! Fun is my lifeblood!

i would say sorry. but i can't

[turntechtrainer]

Right, because a bucket over the door is fun. You raunchy perv. [Troll bucket jokes? Why yes. He sinks that low.]

Oh wait, can't get it in now.

Whoops.

you're never sorry, don't lie

[ghostytrainer]

[Silence as John presumably just stares at Dave with a blankly incredulous face for a bit.]

[The seconds just stretch on and on.]

[And on.]

[And o--]

I am so done with you.

[So. Done. But he's not leaving or anything, despite being done.]

yeah that's true I laugh every time

[turntechtrainer]

[He just stands there with a flat look on his face, then he starts to crack up. Okay. That feels good.]

I can just picture the fact you should be making right now.

[A pause then he leans closer.] By the way.








The cake is a lie. That came true.

[ghostytrainer]

Oh Christ it did, didn't it? Ahahaha. Little late though, isn't it? Man... though that brings up the question of what have we been eating this whole time?

[He hasn't made it down to the cafeteria yet. He has no clue of the horrible, horrible truth.]

[turntechtrainer]

Do you want the spoilers or to do you want to go down and look?

[He knows the truth and it's not at all funny. It's such bullshit.]

[ghostytrainer]

Well... I'm not sure if I will actually end up making it down there or not. [Depends on how quickly he manages to find Rose.] So release the spoiler tags, I guess.

[His body is ready.]

[turntechtrainer]

[Welp. Dave claps John on the shoulder and drops the spoilers in.] It's the bars. Those terrible, bland, nutrition bars.

[ghostytrainer]

[There's nothing but stunned silence that drags on for at least a minute.]

[No.]

Are y-- no. No, not even you would be big enough a jackass to joke about something like this. Seriously? The whole time?

[turntechtrainer]

The whole time. [Isn't it just so awesome. Dave's flat look says it all, doesn't it?]

[ghostytrainer]

Eugh, I think I would rather it have been weird fake film stuff. [So. Gross.]

[There's a pause as John realizes something.]

...is it bad that that's what I am most disappointed about in all this?

[turntechtrainer]

You'd rather eat slime? You cannibal. [He shakes his head, no John it's totally cool to be disappointed by that the most. Let others fall apart about the rest.]