towerofanimus | Glamour Failure

Eeeaugh!

[Looking back on it, Sheba will wish that her reaction to the revelation hadn't been quite so... dramatic. She'd known, of course, that the only things that were really theirs had been their souls; February had taught her that. But there was a difference between knowing that in theory and in seeing the proof of it firsthand.

She doesn't even look like herself anymore... She's known since February that her body wasn't really hers, but this...]

No... no...

[She's crouched down on a staircase, clutching at her head and trying to block it all out now that her surroundings are lit by the eerie red lights. She doesn't even know what floor she's on - she'd run out into the darkness and had taken the stairs after being startled into consciousness by the screaming of the chips, and by now she's lost track of how many floors down she's traveled. It feels like she's been going for ages, but she can't trust anything she perceives here now, can she? How long had she gone believing everything she'd seen was real even when it had all been a lie?

But maybe...]

This has to be a lie too... a trick... something... s-someone..!

[In spite of everything - what she's been through in Weyard, what she's been through here - she's just a fifteen-year-old girl, and there's only so much she can take. She's never been more painfully aware of that fact than she is right now.]

[Now was certainly not the time to be worrying about 'who's, 'where's, and 'why's. What was important now as for everyone to remain calm-- or at least, a semblance.

So it didn't matter who, or where, or what even, but when Fado saw the girl in distress on the staircase, he approached her-- himself glowing violet-- and set one "hand" on her shoulder, in hopes of calming her down.]

Now is not the time to try and deceive ourselves further, my dear.

[She stiffens at the hand on her shoulder and does her best to fight the instinct to jump to her feet and push this person - whoever he is - away. If she'd seen something glowing violet coming at her on a normal day here, her first reaction would have been to blast it.

But she's seen enough of herself to know she looks the same way, that this is someone else, so she takes a deep breath and looks up at where his face should be. It's hard, and it takes a few moments before she can come up with anything even vaguely coherent, but - ]

I should have known... this is... it's one of Ruana's months, now. Is this one of her games? Or... [The screeching from the microchips makes her wonder if maybe this is because of what they'd done. If it was, then - this wasn't a lie - it was the truth, and they'd revealed it, but -

I said I wanted answers, but I didn't want them like this!

She shakes her head.]

No, it... it's been like this all along, then. Is that it? Only we just didn't know, and... And now we do, and...

[He didn't move his hand when she flinched-- but when she seemed to look up, an at least sort of collect herself, he moved his hand away from her arm and took a step back, folding his hands behind his back with a nod.]

Unfortunately, this is the most sensible conclusion... It is easy to think this state is but another trick, but this is merely what we get when we peel away the other layers. When the power fails, and when we see the truth.

Though our perception may be altered-- nothing has truly changed, has it?

[She drops her gaze from him and looks down at her hands - if she could even call them those. They'd made them all see so many things that weren't even there. They'd made them believe things about themselves that weren't true.

There will come a time when everything around you seems to be not what you thought it was...

She shivers. Hindsight is 20/20, and Sheba's completely sure that had been a warning of some kind. If only she'd known to prepare for this... because even knowing that what Fado's saying is true, it doesn't make it any easier to accept.]

It... hasn't, but... [How can we know if anything we've experienced here is real?] It's hard to come to terms with that...

Why did it end up like this..?

...Fate is a difficult thing to grasp.

[Fado was born believing everything had been done and everything would happen for a reason. Fate and Destiny were concepts that he firmly believed in. But sometimes it was hard to explain things when they seemed so unfair.

He couldn't really offer any warmth, but he carefully moved on the stairs and sat on his feet in front of her.]

I believe that is the next step. There are still very many things we do not know. If nothing else, we can certainly fine out 'why.'

This place is full of secrets, huh?

[She's done her fair share of digging for answers on Weyard. It was always the answers she wanted most that she's never found, though, so she's almost afraid to hope for too much here.

Still, that's not going to keep her from trying. She glances at Fado and manages a small approximation of a smile - it just doesn't look quite right without her facial features as defined as they should be.]

I find it sort of hard to believe that there's going to be anything more shocking than... all of this. [She gestures at their wireframe bodies and at the film-covered tower around them.] ...so, once we accept this, it's just going to make us stronger, right? It's just getting to that point that's the hard part.

[Asch is probably not the best choice to commfort her. As disturbing as the revelation is, he's not upset by it. In a twisted way, he welcomes it, stripping away everything to the truth.

But not everyone feels the same way, and from the sound of her voice, Sheba isn't one of them. He doesn't know what to say to her, so for the time being he just sits beside her on the stairs, silently, not really knowing if she can recognize him or not until he speaks up. Gently, he puts one hand on her shoulder.]

Hold on to something true. That's all we can do.

Asch..?

[She hadn't known for sure that it was him sitting beside her until that moment, but she'd had a general idea - he was about the right height, the color of the fluid in him was violet, and the film making up his hair was long enough... but it's comforting to hear his voice and to know for sure that she's not alone, and even more comforting to realize that he'd stayed with her even when she was at her lowest point, staying there in companionable silence until she'd calmed enough to come up with anything coherent to say.

Her voice is a little shaky, but quite obviously relieved, and she doesn't flinch away from his hand even though she probably would have if it had been anyone else who was still in the Tower. Instead, she shifts a little so that she can put her hand over his.

Something that's still true...]

...thank you... for being here. [The friendship they've forged is real, even if the bodies they were in when they forged it weren't. That's something that's incredibly true and she's aware of it even through the haze of fear and uncertainty. She's quiet for a moment or two as she considers that. In a way, it's not so strange... she's known him for five months now. It had taken her less time than that to grow to trust Felix and Jenna and Piers, and she knows for sure that she would fight as fiercely for Asch as she would for any of them.] I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, but... I'm going to keep going in spite of it. You've given me the strength to do that... so, thank you.

I give you strength?

[It's laughable, and laugh he does, although it's small and filled with a painful undercurrent. And yet here they are.

Something that's still true. That, for some reason, he has value in her eyes, a value beyond his blade or his blood or his fonon frequency. That she was someone who would fight by his side, someone he could rely on. someone he could trust with every thought.

It's still startling, when he thinks about it.]

It goes both ways, you know.

Edited 2013-06-02 00:51 (UTC)

Don't laugh! It's the truth...

[It's hard to tell with the glamour systems down, but if she were looking like herself, her expression would be completely serious. As it is, there's almost a ghost of the expression on her face - the closest approximation that the wireframe that forms her body can make.

There might be other things in the Tower that are still real. More tangible things, things they can see and touch. But the trust she has in Asch and the trust he has in her is real, too, and this is a reaffirmation of that as well as a reminder of what's really important. Because in the end, it doesn't matter what they look like, not really. What matters is that even in an awful place like this, there can still be something that makes it all worth it. There are people worth protecting and memories worth preserving.

And the friendships they've made here are more real and more lasting than anything else. Even if they never escape this place... they'll at least have that.]

That's good. It's what friends do for each other. [There would be a smile here, if the framing had the features to show it. Instead, the framing forming her mouth curves up a bit at the corners - it's not as distinctive.] ...I'm glad I met you.

[Luckily, he can hear it in her voice - the seriousness, and a bit of a pout, unless he's mistaken.

It doesn't stop him from smiling. Maybe, for as deeply unaffected as he seems, something in him did break, and he's come back around to the point of being amused. It's as likely as anything else in this place.

Even wires and fluid, he's laughing here, with her, in a way he never thought he would again. What an unlikely place, indeed.]

Even with everything, sometimes I think I'm happier here than I ever was before.

[Because before, he was alone, unable to get out of that trap of loneliness. Hardship brings people together, they say, the people who like to act like they know what they're talking about. It might just be true.]

[Asch's ears are good - there was definitely a bit of a pout in her voice there. That pout is gone by the next time she speaks, though, and if he could see her face clearly, he'd see that she was smiling faintly.]

I think I know what you mean...

[There have been times when she's wanted to go home. She still wants to go home - some small part of her does - but the homesickness comes less frequently lately, and it's not just because the fight for survival has become so intense that she doesn't have the time for such thoughts.

It's because in spite of everything, there are some experiences Sheba's had here that she would never, ever want to give up. And more selfishly, it's because she derives some sort of happiness from knowing that there are people here who, if they have the choice, won't leave her. There were no guarantees of what her friends would have done after Mars Lighthouse, but she knows the likelihood of them all splitting up - Felix and Jenna to Vale, Piers to the sea, herself to Lalivero - would have been very high.

Here, there's always a chance that they might vanish (The way Felix did, she remembers, and her expression falters for a moment), but for as long as they're trapped here together, Sheba's not alone. She knows it's a little wrong to be happy about that, but she can't help it.

Nothing is forever, though. Not even the Tower. Someday, things will change. They're already changing - they've very clearly set something in motion here - and it's with a bit of hesitation that she speaks up again.]

I wonder what else is going to happen... now that we know the truth about this place. Or, a little more of the truth. [A pause, and then -] ...how long are we going to be able to stay here...? [She's mostly concerned about Ruana. If they push her past her breaking point with this, there's no telling what she'll do to them. For all Sheba knows, the woman could have them killed for real.]

There's going to be consequences.

[You don't need his hearing to have heard that howl echoing through the halls, after all. His smiles shifts to something more serious. Ruana. So far he'd been lucky enough to avoid her touch on the place, but who knew how long that would last.

Who knew what was coming. All they can do is prepare however they're able, even if that preparation is with things that don't really exist. It makes the things that have happened easier to swallow, in a way -

As far as Asch is concerned, so much of that was never real, either. The only thing that feels real to him is the memory of his body moving on its own, under someone else's will.]

A year. That's all the longer this will last.

[A year, and whether they destroy everything and win their freedom, or disappear trying - they'll be free.

He squeezes her shoulder. That ending hardly matters to him, as long as he doesn't have to do it alone.]

There are. I guess... we'll know the specifics of what they are, soon.

[In a way, the anticipation of what's going to happen right away is more worrying to her than the anticipation of a final death. She wants to live - it's not like she wants to just throw her life away - but she'd almost accept some sort of an end to all of this.

What she can't accept is that they're going to be Ruana's playthings, and it's almost certain.

But it's not going to break her. Not when she's got someone she can put her trust in, right here. She looks up at him when he squeezes her shoulder, then manages a very small smile.]

A year...? [She's not going to bother asking how he knows that. She knows he'll tell her sooner or later, if it's necessary to know - and she knows he wouldn't deliberately lie to her.] A lot can happen in a year. Whatever our ending is, it'll be one we shape with our own hands. Right?

A lot has happened in half of one.

[That's how long he's been here, almost to the day - even with everything that's happened, he could almost be called happy right now. The irony of the note they were all given upon arriving to the Tower isn't lost on him.

Let's all be happy here.

There's no way that Ruana's idea of happiness is the same as theirs. In the end, the same as Van, she was willfully blind to what people wanted, ignorant of how much people were willing to throw away to survive. When it came down to things like that, it was where people's true natures were revealed.

Look for something that is still true.

That truth, and that freedom to choose - that was what he had sworn himself to today.]

It'll be the ending we fought for, either way.

That's for sure...

[She's a month shy of a full half-year, but it still feels like so many things have happened since she arrived. Some of them wonderful, some of them terrible, but all of them significant in some way. When she tries to imagine where her life would have been if she'd never been brought here, if Weyard had never been destroyed and if she'd gone on to return to Lalivero from Mars Lighthouse, it's almost impossible.

Before, during her journey, it had been difficult - but she'd been able to do it, had practically been able to see herself walking back into the town and taking up the life she would have lived if she'd never been kidnapped away to Tolbi. Now, though, she can't. After everything that's happened, it seems too dull, too mundane.

Maybe it's not because she's unlucky that she's been brought here, she thinks. Maybe it's because she has something to offer, just like all of the people here have something to offer. The Tower, the world it's in, there are so many mysteries surrounding them both. And if anything's been proven in the last few days, it's that the people who are trapped here are willing to do what they must to unravel them.

They have a goal now, and a deadline to accomplish it by. Even if the thought of it is daunting, at least there's an end in sight. And even if they fail... they can at least say they tried, and that they went down fighting, and that they made the best of the borrowed time they've been living on ever since their worlds were destroyed.

Better to damn yourself trying than to perish without having tried at all, Sheba thinks.]

...hey, Asch... even if we do manage to find a way out of here... even if we can return to our own worlds... It should be possible to find some way to communicate between them, right? ...because if we could both appear here, it's almost like they're connected somehow, and the Tower is the center point. [So even if their worlds are restored and they are forced to go home, it's not like the end would really be the end. They wouldn't have to say goodbye forever... she hopes, anyway.]

Glamour Failure

Open | Warning for general event stuff, trauma, and whatever else may develop

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject