towerofanimus | Glamour Failure

[Naminé had woken with a start when the noise began. It was impossible not to, for someone like her, her sleep kept ever light by the memories of dangerous times and dangerous people. She'd been on her guard immediately.]

[But nothing could have prepared her for this.]

[She is very still as she looks down at herself, slow as she raises her hands, looks at them, looks down at her-- her what? Her soul? Her... heart? It can't be, surely.]

[She stumbles, though, when she turns to run to the door, all but blind in her haste. She's not sure where she's going, what she's trying to do, but something in her tugs her forward, tells her she has to-- find the others? Find out if everything is like this? Her mind is a jumble, a flurry of thought and emotion that so cloud each other as to make both ineffective.]

[She doesn't make it far before she stops. It's an abrupt sort of thing, almost as if some part of her has finally managed to grab control for a moment, but then that moment passes and she finds herself leaning against the wall, 'face' pressed into (what passes for) her hands as she takes deep, shuddering breaths to calm herself.]

[It could still be a lie, after all.]

[(It doesn't feel like a lie.)]

[She should have known.]

[It's slow when she slides down the wall, so slow that she hardly notices it until she reaches a sitting position, legs tucked haphazardly to the side. There she stays, though not for long - eventually, she rises to her feet again, lets her hands fall from her face, and goes in search of the others, whoever or whatever or wherever they might be.]

[It isn't long after some big wire-muscle guy with the same color as them that a familiar-shaped violet figure exits his own dorm room and begins to run, trying not to freak out too much either.

'Think of your cover, think of your cover...' he keeps repeating to little or no avail. Because while he can see that his heart and soul is similar, but so different from Riku's (it can't be- he's his replica - they should be the same but they aren't and), his face, his frame, it's all so different and after that one month where he couldn't remember what happened, could remember struggling to even control himself--

Ira doesn't know how long or how far he ran, but the sight of another violet figure - one whose silhouette is so familiar - stops him in his tracks. Lines likely pulled together like he's trying to recognize her, but the name comes out automatically.]

...Naminé-?

[The sound of footsteps makes her look up, but it's in a dim sort of way. Her mind is elsewhere - or perhaps just far too deeply turned inward - but she takes in the sight, sees him the way she sees herself and all the others, and it offers her no real comfort.]

[Except... she knows him. She knows him, before she even knows why she knows him. It's not the lines that tell her, exactly, or the voice that says her name; it's something that leaps up from the back of her mind, and perhaps it's his soul that she recognizes, without quite realizing it right away.]

[But it's him, and that's good enough, that's reason enough to shock her into straightening slightly, almost guiltily. There are... more important things to worry about than what this means for her.]

-- Yes. It's-- me, Ira.

[This sight is likely going to be present in nightmares from this moment on, but for now he just pushes aside the thought and walks a bit closer. Something in what would be his face softens a bit when he does, even if it's all he can do from keeping himself from shaking at the sensation of being absolutely powerless.

She was still here. Glowing, but... here. Real. He wasn't even going to focus on the thought of what that makes him, if he isn't even a puppet the way they likely thought he was.]

How are you holding up?

[Because not focusing on himself and how panicked he is because he can't even tell how his original is is not a Good Idea. Then again, hanging with the villains likely wasn't either, but details!

Besides, it's ~~mom~~ his friend; and if there's one thing he's grudgingly glad for, it's his need to protect the ones he did trust enough to call that. Even if it feels like he can't do a thing.]

[If there were anything that she could possibly do to make the image easier on him, she'd do it. As it is, there really isn't anything that she could possibly hope to alter - although perhaps it's some consolation, at least, that her soul is a warm thing, bright but gently so, and perhaps were the situation different, it might almost be a welcoming sort of light. Still, she's left where she is to hope that it isn't too hard for him to speak to her like this. Her own way of comforting herself is to remind herself that it's him - in a manner of speaking - even if he doesn't look as it seems he should. He's still the same person, right?]

I'm....

[How is she? It's still such a confusing mess of feelings and thoughts in her head, but--]

... I'll be okay.

[Since when was she real in the first place?]

What about you? Are you doing alright?

[For a given value of 'alright', of course.]

[It isn't really the image of her like this that bothers him. In his heart - fake as it may be - he knows it's still her, bright and comforting and kind as she always seemed to him. Rather, it's seeing just how fake everything is and even this body he was given when his disappeared in the darkness and their memories was just wires and tubes. At least Vexen had given him actual flesh and bone, synthetic and doll-like as they were... Now he didn't even have that, and seeing that even those more than him - people he knew and trusted even if he disliked a few of them - were the same...

It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He bends down next to her, trying to hide a semblance of a grimace. What was 'alright'; was it a lie, like everything else in this light-forsaken place? He doesn't know. All he knows is that he can at least still move.]

...I'll be fine.

[Someday. When pigs sprout wings and fly like Tink sprinkled her fairy dust on them. Man, even his voice doesn't sound so sure. In fact, that Tone probably sounds similar to when he turned his back on her, Sora, Donald and Goofy...]

[It's a feeling she is at least loosely familiar, in her own way. Even though her appearance had been in part Kairi's, at the same time, she'd always had it. Copy or not, it was about as real as anything else that made her up was. That had never been taken from her, at least. It wasn't that she cared so much for what she looked like, but rather that she could at least depend on that, when there was so little else she could, and now... well, not anymore.]

[To be the same as the others, though - that's something she hasn't quite had time to process fully, yet, but the implications will doubtlessly and in part already do trouble her.]

[Her eyes follow him. Her ears, too, do not miss a beat, and they do not miss that tone. Her expression, were it wholly visible, would be sad in a very specific sort of way. That isn't a Tone she'd ever wanted to hear again.]

....

[She didn't stop him, that time in Castle Oblivion when she heard that tone. Perhaps in another situation, she would still hold her tongue, but--]

Promise?

[It's soft and somber and gentle and she tries so hard not to let even a single note of desperation in.]

Edited 2013-06-02 07:37 (UTC)

[He tries to pay attention to the minute details where her face should be, but in the faint glow of their souls and collar fluid, along with the red lights... he can't fully realize the expressions. Implications only made the sensation of something twisting inside him worse, and he knows with that single word what she meant.

She was thinking back to the last time they'd seen each other, when their bodies were real and not some cheap knock-off metal and tubes of glowing liquid.

When he turned his back on the only people who actually cared about him.]

...

[It takes him a moment to nod, because like the last time she asked a question like this, he wasn't sure about this answer, either.]

Promise.

[Though in truth, he doesn't know if he can keep it. At least he isn't about to run off and do something stupid? He's just... defeated. A little. On the inside. Even one of the abilities he has that's his own (and he hates) is a lie.]

I'm more worried- [He looks at his hand, flexing the metal that makes it. Funny; it still felt real even when what he guesses he can see from say it's a lie.] -for those who still thought that it was more than this than me.

[A partial lie; he's more worried for how those from their worlds will take it, considering how complicated the whole Heart/Soul/real and fake thing is.]

It's almost funny, really...

Edited 2013-06-02 07:54 (UTC)

[She is perhaps more familiar with expressions in general, with reading faces and voices and hearts, but even for her, this is a significant challenge. At least with him, though, she can surmise. She can make, with the knowledge of who he is to back her up, an extremely well-educated guess. That he understands her, even in that one word, is... comfort, at least, even if it's not the most welcome of topics to be unspoken but present between them.]

[And she watches for his nod, accepts it when it comes. She thinks of raising her pinky for him to take, but refrains. She'll not so bind him; his word is good enough, because she knows, too, that he may not be able to keep it. It's not a promise to hold him back, this time, but a promise to move him forward.]

[Her eyes shift to his hand as it moves, watching in turn. It's funny and it isn't funny. It's deadly serious, too - it's all a matter of perspective.]

... We're... not anything different from what we were before this happened. [Within the tower, that is.] It's just that we know that, now. [There's a stirring of something in the back of her mind, something that makes her very uncomfortable, because it feels as though it shakes her very core, the very foundation of her sense of self. There is the slightest of shivers to her shoulders, and then she suppresses it. Those thoughts are for later.] But knowing the truth is... hard, sometimes. No matter who-- or what you are. They... may need help. [And so do the two of them, perhaps, but-- but it's easier, when it's someone else's problem one is trying to fix. The two of them, at least, have experience with this.]

[Maybe he's glad for it, for his word to be just enough for her and no real pinky promise being necessary - no matter how much he wouldn't mind it, since it would likely keep him from doing something even more stupid than he has the last few months. Though it's enough for him. She trusts him enough to hope that he will keep his word, so he'll try to do so. It's the least he can do, even if when his thoughts go back to what his hand really is...

Well, it isn't like he didn't help bring this into being.]

You're right... we're not. [Though the question is... how different were they really from the others? And why was his soul purple while the real thing was green? Why weren't they the same? Did Vexen mess up somewhere?] We're still us.

[... Naminé. You realize you're preaching to the choir, right? Because you're saying this to the one who kind of went into a catatonic state when the truth about himself was revealed back home. Yet he shrugs it off, because the point was made.]

Think you're ready to help them?

[Because he noticed that shiver. Don't think he didn't.]

[She would offer it, if her fears required that of her. For now, though, she will wait and see and prepare, just in case he should fail. As ever, she feels compelled to try to make sure as many of them get through this as intact as possible, and all the more to do that for him.]

[She nods, and she listens, watching for his reaction inasmuch as can be managed at the moment. Her attempt at a smile is successful but probably largely irrelevant.]

[The girl is very much aware who it is she's preaching to. That doesn't mean it isn't still true, isn't still important that he understand it in those terms, because at least that way maybe he'll realize he's not alone, not set apart from the others or made less than them for it.]

[Breathing in slowly and then out in a not-quite sigh seems to be required, but-- she nods.]

More than ready. I... never really had as much to lose, I guess. [Being as she was already Nothing, right? But that's beside the point.] ... I think... I need to help them. [For her sake as well as theirs.]

[After Terra's visit, Riku is finally at a point where the need to check up on everyone else is bigger than the shock-confusion of this new revelation, and so he's moving down the hallway, looking for familiar outlines and colors to match them.

And that's when he spots that violet glowing figure sitting there, a somewhat familiar outline... and while he isn't totally positive on who, he knows at least that they know each other. That's a start.

He crouches down near her, concern in his voice as he carefully reaches out. This isn't a good... or safe place to be sitting at. Not in general and certainly not right now either probably.]

Hey...

[She's working toward that, herself - pushing away all the white noise in her mind in favor of helping someone else with their own. Her face is still in her hands when he finds her, and it's not until he speaks that she looks up, drawing them down partway to peek up at him.]

--....

[There's a part of her, ironically or otherwise, that is ashamed. It's not so much to been seen physically as she is now, but rather that she should be found curled up like this. She's not sure if it's worse or better when she realizes with a jolt that it's Riku. It would be hard for her not to, really. She's too familiar with both his appearance and his heart. Her fingers curl inward, not forming fists so much as closed hands.]

... Riku.

[And she falters, then, but it's brief, and,]

... You, too?

[He sighs in quiet relieve - it's indeed someone he knows, it's Naminé. And apart of very understandable panic/fear she seems fine at least. He nods in answer to her question.]

Yeah. Me too. Everybody too, in fact.

[She's not the only one. They aren't.

He leans closer, dropping to his knees and reaching to settle his hands on her shoulders(?) - he isn't sure if she'll be able to feel it really, but right at this moment it's the thought, the gesture that counts.

They are not alone.]

[As fine as anyone else is. She hasn't broken down, at least, either physically or mentally, even if it's a very confused place in her head at the moment. Her soul is there, just as it is for the others - perhaps curiously, considering her supposed lack of a heart - glowing bright and warm.]

[She breathes out a sigh at his response, one that's not quite relieved so much as it is troubled, or rather both at the same time but not in equal measure. Her face starts to lower again, but it stops when he places his hands on her shoulders, and raises again instead to look up at him, what of her expression can be seen quietly startled, at first. It eases into a somber sort of calm after a moment.]

[They are not alone. It's... both curse and comfort, perhaps, but-- she knows he means to help her. He always does. She can only hope to do the same for him, and that's why she reaches up to place one hand very gently over his.]

We're... all in it together. ... We'll... figure something out.

[That's what she should believe, isn't it? Really, in this case - the 'something' is a way to deal with this, not physically but mentally.]

Edited 2013-06-02 00:58 (UTC)

[Well, that is a start at least; as long as they aren't broken, as long as they don' crumble, they can fight, no matter how confusing things may seem momentarily.

He only ever means to help, even when he isn't always overly sure if he's doing it the right way, if he isn't stepping over lines somewhere, but whatever insecurities he may or may not have, never last long, not as long as he has friends around.

She might not see the smile he answers the statement with, but she can probably guess at it - she knows him more than well enough for that after all.]

That's right.

[That's the only way they can accomplish anything at all in this place probably, by trusting into each other and sharing the strength that comes from that. Riku is sure (though he will probably never voice it out loud), if he'd been here all alone from the start, if there'd never been anyone around to trust - no Naminé or Xion or Sora or Yu - the tower would have broken him a long time ago.]

[It's something to live by in many situations, the Tower most definitely included. She's long since learned to hold together after so many trials, but even more consciously so for that time so long ago now that she'd been forced by the Tower to lose hope. After that... well, the only thing to do seemed to be to not ever let it go again so easily.]

[She's more than willing to compensate for his insecurities, to recognize them and reassure him even if she doesn't say a word about it, like now.]

[She can guess at it, indeed, and she smiles - albeit faintly - back.]

Besides... it could be worse. [They could be alone.]

[He is more glad for that than words can describe, and that's just the thing, isn't it? Sometimes words aren't needed at all.]

Way worse. And at least we know the truth now. As horrifying as it may be, that's always a good thing.

[Because Riku would rather live the pain of the truth than drown in the comfort of the illusion.]

[It's quite a comforting arrangement they have, that way. There's nothing quite like being known and knowing in return. She finds her hand coming to rest, curled, over where her heart should be.]

If it really is the truth, then yes. It's... I've always thought it was better that way. But--....

[But she can't help being conscious of what that part that's probably supposed to be her looks like in comparison to others, because shouldn't it be more different than that?]

[It definitely is. He tilts his had a little, not certain why she is so uncertain.]

But...?

[She falters, visibly even given her state, and when she looks back up at him it's with a less noticeable frown.]

... But I thought it would look different.

[Her... 'soul', she means.]

[Dormitory Hallways -> Everywhere] [OPEN]

mooooom 8(

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gomen for late

/pats <333333

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Re: [Dormitory Hallways -> Everywhere] [OPEN]

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